Published on 12, July, 2020
I appreciate I am posting under the 'Parents and carers' category. I am neither, however, I am married to an aspie and I just need some help.
I would be very grateful if someone could point me in the direction of all the other frazzled husbands/wives?
I've been married a year and a half, we moved in together when we got married (not due to tradition, but due to commitments that prevented our co-habiting sooner).
A couple of WEEKS after moving in I asked myself: 'who is this selfish, uncaring, unsympathetic, I'm-always-right, rude, arrogant man, and where the HELL is my husband??'
A confusing, emotional and unbearable year passed (no, there was no 'honeymoon period' for us), and we finally have the answer (I'll give you a hint, it starts with 'A' and rhymes with blasperger's)
Since then I've read books and really brushed up on my knowledge of the big 'A'. I'm still mourning the life I expected to live when I got married. It's very, very sad. I now have a completely different view of the man I married and it breaks my heart. He's someone else entirely now. But things are getting better. The last 6 months have been amazing. It's so hard trying to forget everything I know about communication and starting again, and even harder to view things from his perspective, but I'm getting there.
Tonight, however, is a turning point. I need help. It's the first night I'm not sleeping in the same bed as him. Because of his sensory issues, I've not been able to read a book or peruse my laptop before bed in all the time we've been married. He point blank refuses to wear an eye-mask and ear-buds because they irritate him too much. I haven't slept well recently so now I have to sleep in a different room until I sort it out.
Ugh, please I just need help to cope with this. I'm 25 and sleeping in a single bed. This isn't RIGHT!!!
All,
I am so relieved at knowing that there are others like me and that I am not imagining things. Its been a year since i have been in my relationship. The first 6 mths were great and i didnt have a clue. However, on our first holiday and after we moved in 5 mths later i realised that something was not quite right. Mood swings, always being right and never accepting he is worng, turning things around, wanting to sleep alone, not thinking of me the list goes on. It was out first anniversary yesterday and i got nothing....i sound a bit selfish here but its actually crushing me as a person. Anything i want doesnt matter its over ruled. The continual starring really upsets me and i start to think that hes up to something. I have sought CBT and hypnotherapy thinking it was me but its not. I get a lot of love but i feel alone at times. He is obsessed with facebook and doesnt even comment on people post. There is onlly the topic of polotics which he is interested in. He is a DR and refuses that anything is wrong with him. It really tires me, but i love him dearly. It had been very turbulent after we moved in but in the last two months things have been great. He allways thinks I am the unhappy one or the issues are with me. he says that I know i will end up alone and that just breaks my heart. I couldnt do that to him but I need some support too. I brought up marriage and kids but its his way or the high way. Can anyone please help or direct me. How do I get things done?
Shazam