Published on 12, July, 2020
I appreciate I am posting under the 'Parents and carers' category. I am neither, however, I am married to an aspie and I just need some help.
I would be very grateful if someone could point me in the direction of all the other frazzled husbands/wives?
I've been married a year and a half, we moved in together when we got married (not due to tradition, but due to commitments that prevented our co-habiting sooner).
A couple of WEEKS after moving in I asked myself: 'who is this selfish, uncaring, unsympathetic, I'm-always-right, rude, arrogant man, and where the HELL is my husband??'
A confusing, emotional and unbearable year passed (no, there was no 'honeymoon period' for us), and we finally have the answer (I'll give you a hint, it starts with 'A' and rhymes with blasperger's)
Since then I've read books and really brushed up on my knowledge of the big 'A'. I'm still mourning the life I expected to live when I got married. It's very, very sad. I now have a completely different view of the man I married and it breaks my heart. He's someone else entirely now. But things are getting better. The last 6 months have been amazing. It's so hard trying to forget everything I know about communication and starting again, and even harder to view things from his perspective, but I'm getting there.
Tonight, however, is a turning point. I need help. It's the first night I'm not sleeping in the same bed as him. Because of his sensory issues, I've not been able to read a book or peruse my laptop before bed in all the time we've been married. He point blank refuses to wear an eye-mask and ear-buds because they irritate him too much. I haven't slept well recently so now I have to sleep in a different room until I sort it out.
Ugh, please I just need help to cope with this. I'm 25 and sleeping in a single bed. This isn't RIGHT!!!
Supercheese - I certainly feel your pain. I'm in the same boat!
At crisis point and we have had a 1st counselling session today, which has left me feeling very very angry.
We have an aspie son together, who is the apple of my eye I should say, but means that I have double trouble, lol!
BTW - I always sleep in a different room to my partner. He drives me crazy because he thrashes about in bed all night long. He once, famously, kneed me up the @rse really hard and unintentionally, in his sleep!!!
Its very hard not to take the aspie induced behaviour personally - especially when it having a horribly negative impact on your life - as is happening here.
I personally don't think we are going to last much longer - we'll see how much change the 6wks of counselling effects, but I cannot go on like this. I am already living like a single parent.
Love rosemary xxx