Published on 12, July, 2020
My son 19, was diagnosed in 2017. He has and always had meltdowns with high aggression. Things in the house have got broke, holes in doors,things thrown at me , verbal abuse e.t.c. I don't want to put up with this anymore. I've advised him to go to anger management courses,courses around asd or anything that could help.him . He will say yes but it never happens. Today I was helping him move his drawers out his bedroom cos they're broke and I said he could borrow my unit till he found a new one. Cos he couldn't fit everything back on the unit he started swearing,shouting e.t.c..His 5 year old was there saying stuff to him he told him to piss off. Threw a pot noodle down stairs and chucked a towel in my face. Now I know I should have removed my little one and I could see him getting a bit anxious whilst I was moving his stuff but he's be ok one time and not another he's so unpredictable. Just fed up with feeling like everything is my fault like I didn't react to him the right way or didn't pick up on something. The reason why I've posted this now is the fact his biological dad who was mentally and physically abusive to me did a similar thing . He called me a stupid ••••••• *** and got me round the throat just for tidying his wardrobe. It just brought it all back and I don't want my son to end up doing the same thing wether it be to me,his future partners or children. I do I get him to see he can't do the things that he does to people and think it's ok?
[Edited by Moderator]
Blue said:Yet again i am going to be aggressively blunt and honest with if you allowed your child to procreate at young age your are partly responsible for your current situation, you are also partly responsible for the way your son has turned out because you did not dealing with your sons negative behaviour sooner no amount of past trauma or excuse will justify you allowing this current situation.
I can assure you we did not 'let' any of this happen. He was punished as a child for his actions never understandings when it never worked due to not getting a diagnosis till age 15.
I don't know what else to do. The only way I can see this changing is if he sees he has a problem,needs help and gets help. He knows I will support him on the way
Blue if you know you are being "aggressively blunt", perhaps think before you post your reply. Don't forget the person on the other end is a human with feelings who is asking for help, not judgement.
only listen to parents of autistic children, and professionals who have experience of many families and autistic children.