Published on 12, July, 2020
My son 19, was diagnosed in 2017. He has and always had meltdowns with high aggression. Things in the house have got broke, holes in doors,things thrown at me , verbal abuse e.t.c. I don't want to put up with this anymore. I've advised him to go to anger management courses,courses around asd or anything that could help.him . He will say yes but it never happens. Today I was helping him move his drawers out his bedroom cos they're broke and I said he could borrow my unit till he found a new one. Cos he couldn't fit everything back on the unit he started swearing,shouting e.t.c..His 5 year old was there saying stuff to him he told him to piss off. Threw a pot noodle down stairs and chucked a towel in my face. Now I know I should have removed my little one and I could see him getting a bit anxious whilst I was moving his stuff but he's be ok one time and not another he's so unpredictable. Just fed up with feeling like everything is my fault like I didn't react to him the right way or didn't pick up on something. The reason why I've posted this now is the fact his biological dad who was mentally and physically abusive to me did a similar thing . He called me a stupid ••••••• *** and got me round the throat just for tidying his wardrobe. It just brought it all back and I don't want my son to end up doing the same thing wether it be to me,his future partners or children. I do I get him to see he can't do the things that he does to people and think it's ok?
[Edited by Moderator]
I am an autistic adult myself with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder and i have done some horrific thing during an autism meltdown, I am know in my mid twenties and even though i have acted so poorly during a autism meltdown i still feel guilty and embarrassed by my behaviour afterwards. When i have an autism meltdown they can be really destructive so i understand the destruction quality of autism. But if he is doing this behaviour outside of meltdown then there isn't really isn't that much of an excuse.
I need to raise a massive concern here and sorry i am going to be extremely blunt. This five year child is not safe around him for multiple reason you have described. Your son cannot control his behaviour and that is going to have a negative physiological effect on this child natural development. If your son is inclined to having autism meltdown and they manifest in a destruction and aggression manor and he can't recognize when things are building up to a meltdown then he is a real threat to the child safety and a risk of hurting and even killing this five year old child. In these situation anger management will be too little to late. if you have younger children in the house then the first priority is to ensure your safety and the childrens and calling the police might be option and i am saying this from experience.
They will take and process your son and keep him in a cell, he will only be given a caution for the first time and might result in the local authorities intervening and providing him with the support to be rehoused and social intervention for his behaviour.
Sorry i have read your post multiple time know and still can't figure out if your son has a five year old himself or you are talking about your five year old child?