Anorexia and ASD

Hi,

I'm 26, female, have had an ED since my late teens, and am just now figuring out that it's likely I'm autistic. 

I think what TBC said about anxiety makes a lot of sense to me too. Whenever my mood is better, anxiety is always the thing that creeps back in, a constant presence. I know a lot of that can be then projected onto food and behaviors around it, and being out of control of those things certainly causes an increase in anxiety. Also, being in a constant state of hunger/malnutrition can make the anxiety quieter, there's less scope for your brain to overthink things when it's using all it's energy to just keep you going. 

I think also it can depend on the underlying cause for it all. I know this isn't always something that's easy to figure out, I've been through years of counseling/therapy/psychiatrists and I still feel like there are things I don't know, but I can give you some of my insights. For me, I think a lot of it stems from just a desire to fit in, to be accepted by others. As though somehow, if I looked 'perfect' (or at least society's belief of perfect), and I was polite, and inoffensive, and worked hard, there would be less reasons for me to stick out, in a world where I already felt like I didn't fit. I think I also often spent a lot of time feeling like I was too much. I'd be too excited about something, or too emotional, or too annoying, so I compensated by making myself less, physically. Again, if I was less, smaller and inoffensive, then people would overlook these other traits about me that were less desirable. 

I know as well, that this feeling of 'wrongness' with the world can leave me feeling like it's often just too much, that I can't cope with the world, and that it's unlikely that I ever will. And this kind of thinking has definitely left me feeling suicidal, and I know that I have clung onto my ED in part because of this. I know that ED's are a slow form of suicide, and it feels like my only option. I'm not saying this is a constant feeling, or that your daughter may be suicidal, but just that it's possible, and it's very likely that ASD and feeling like there is nowhere that you fit in the world often couple together. 

So yeah, after a bit of my life story, I would maybe say that talk therapy could be helpful. Just getting to unpick some of what's causing her to feel the need to hang onto those behaviors, and maybe process some of that. But it's not a quick fix, and it can also be a destabilizing process to go through, it can get worse before it gets better. I'm also on medication (imipramine) which I think has helped, at least in lifting my mood somewhat, although it took a long time to find one that did make a difference, and many I was worried about due to weight gain often being a side effect. 

I really hope you find something that works, for both you and your daughter. x

Hi,

I'm 26, female, have had an ED since my late teens, and am just now figuring out that it's likely I'm autistic. 

I think what TBC said about anxiety makes a lot of sense to me too. Whenever my mood is better, anxiety is always the thing that creeps back in, a constant presence. I know a lot of that can be then projected onto food and behaviors around it, and being out of control of those things certainly causes an increase in anxiety. Also, being in a constant state of hunger/malnutrition can make the anxiety quieter, there's less scope for your brain to overthink things when it's using all it's energy to just keep you going. 

I think also it can depend on the underlying cause for it all. I know this isn't always something that's easy to figure out, I've been through years of counseling/therapy/psychiatrists and I still feel like there are things I don't know, but I can give you some of my insights. For me, I think a lot of it stems from just a desire to fit in, to be accepted by others. As though somehow, if I looked 'perfect' (or at least society's belief of perfect), and I was polite, and inoffensive, and worked hard, there would be less reasons for me to stick out, in a world where I already felt like I didn't fit. I think I also often spent a lot of time feeling like I was too much. I'd be too excited about something, or too emotional, or too annoying, so I compensated by making myself less, physically. Again, if I was less, smaller and inoffensive, then people would overlook these other traits about me that were less desirable. 

I know as well, that this feeling of 'wrongness' with the world can leave me feeling like it's often just too much, that I can't cope with the world, and that it's unlikely that I ever will. And this kind of thinking has definitely left me feeling suicidal, and I know that I have clung onto my ED in part because of this. I know that ED's are a slow form of suicide, and it feels like my only option. I'm not saying this is a constant feeling, or that your daughter may be suicidal, but just that it's possible, and it's very likely that ASD and feeling like there is nowhere that you fit in the world often couple together. 

So yeah, after a bit of my life story, I would maybe say that talk therapy could be helpful. Just getting to unpick some of what's causing her to feel the need to hang onto those behaviors, and maybe process some of that. But it's not a quick fix, and it can also be a destabilizing process to go through, it can get worse before it gets better. I'm also on medication (imipramine) which I think has helped, at least in lifting my mood somewhat, although it took a long time to find one that did make a difference, and many I was worried about due to weight gain often being a side effect. 

I really hope you find something that works, for both you and your daughter. x