Published on 12, July, 2020
hi there, I'm new here and needing some advice please?
My son was diagnosed ASD last year just before he turned thirteen, he's recently had his 14th birthday.
I get the current situation with the virus will not be helping anyone's situation but I'm noticing a quite large decline in my son.
Hes a teenager which may contribute to his behaviour, but he is becoming more and more verbally aggressive, to the point I feel he is abusive. This is to all of us in the household. He also is manipulative, which is making me wonder if this is PDA. Ive read though that people with PDA are imaginative and my son has an undeveloped imagination, he is very compartmentalised in his thinking, everything has its box and nothing is outside of them. His sleeping pattern is erratic, weve attempted to get him into a routine but its almost like he cant cope that we are dictating the time. He likes to be in control and cant understand another persons view easily. It worries me quite a lot how his behaviour is evolving, he seems to have lost vital skills hes learned, since not being at school and having that support in place.
We don't know much about ASD besides what we've read, we've not really received much support since his diagnosis due to waiting lists and now the virus. We dont know if this is to be expected at his age or if we need to get some intervention.
We do think theres a possibility he has adhd aswell, my husband was diagnosed as an adiult and they share traits, but camhs asked us to give our son a year to get used to his diagnosis before looking at more assessments. We can only see another waiting list and zilch support in the meantime from camhs.
Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks
Like I said, we've had nothing to help after his diagnosis, no guidance particularly which is why I came here. For 10 years our adamance that he had autism was written off by various 'professionals' who told us he wasn't on the spectrum, they turned out to be stepping over their boundaries to be telling us this, but because they kept saying he wasn't, we believed them and went down the routes they told us to go on. In his assement we were pretty much asked what took us so long. As we were told all the time no way, he isn't autistic we stopped researching passed the general stuff.
I love my son, he is my life and I'll be honest, I'm pretty offended by your reply. I can also see what you're saying as much as someone who doesn't have autism can. The way you've worded your reply resonates with how my son comes accross, and to be honest, thank you, that makes it hit home that he isn't trying to be unkind on purpose.
We have had some guidance from the amazing therapist we did come accross at cahms to let the little things go but this was before his assessment, then nothing, as we could no longer see them.
Noone in the wider family really supports us and understands autism less than we do. We've had comments that are innapropriate from them, and coming here for advice to then be also ripped into, I think I will step back from here for now.
I will research my backside off, and maybe avoid forums for now, they don't really seem the place for me.
I have taken on board what you've offered advice wise and will rain check my behaviour.
Thanks