I AM RECENT DIAGNOSED ASD MUM, MY DAUGHTER IS ASD, MY HUSBAND AND SON ARE BEING TESTED. IM EXHAUSTED TRYING TO AID EVERYONE AND MYSELF TOO.

Hi all,

Can anyone relate?
I always felt I was different to others growing up, including my family members. It was very isolating. I just wanted to grow up and have a family who loved me for me. So when I was old enough I followed the typical stereotype of getting married, having a career and children. It was really hard work, I found I couldn’t juggle what others seemed to do so easily, so I carried on pushing myself more and more to be how people expected me to be in a bid to be normal. I was so extreme I would frequently end up in hospital with exhaustion. Over years I began to realise I had to slow down a little before I killed myself. But not understanding why and feeling like I was failing and accepting I just am not what my parents expected me to be. I cannot no matter how I squeeze and change myself I just can’t live their life styles and expectations. 
 
I was recently diagnosed with Aspergers and my world seems to make a whole lot more sense to me, my daughter was diagnosed last year and like I mention it is looking like the rest of my family are too. I was already finding life difficult before and now knowing the full picture I am wondering how the hell I am going to succeed bringing up my children when I lack my own skills in the same area. I also fear people coming in the home and invading and yet I know we all need individual help yet hiding is so much easier. It’s a constant loop. I know we all need input and guidance yet I am too frightened as I fear not having a handle on it all and so feeling even more overwhelmed with all the well meaning support we need coming in. I feel exhausted alone but also fear I will be exhausted if I let help in. I do run the whole family as even my husband  cannot cope without clear guidance. So all responsibility falls to me. I feel stuck. 

is anyone in a similar position where the whole family is ASD?