In desperate need of advice from other parents

Thank you everyone for your help, it makes a lot of sense and I really appreciate your feedback. Stranger- i tell him that there is a baby in mummy's tummy and he will give my bump a kiss but then he tends to yank my top down and say "bye bye baby". He doesn't talk about the baby and doesn't really respond when I talk about her either. He doesn't talk much other than muttering things that he has heard other people say! Although he will say hello, bye, "i want" etc but he doesn't have conversations.

I wonder how much of this is because you're pregnant? Does he understand that soon he'll have a baby sister?

hi again - as you know, because Gabriel has limited speech it is more difficult to discover what's upsetting him.   He may not be clear about it himself, even if he could tell you it might be a short sentence or phrase.   I don't know how he expresses himself verbally, but my son does 1 of 2 things.  If it's a simple matter, say a disappointment, then he's straight out with it.  He easily makes that link.   If it's something more complex, ie: a situation is winding him up but he doesn't connect his distress with that situation, then he'll complain in general about all sorts of things.  This is like us, if you think about it.  We have a number of stressors throughout the day + then another 1 + by that time we're really fed up.  We may not mention them all, just some.  I can understand you thinking about the mmr.  It became infamous.  MMR was given around the same time that parents were getting concerned about their child's development in some instances.  Dr Wakefield's theories have been disproved but it doesn't stop people wondering.   Life is full of coincidences so don't dwell on it too much because you don't know what's knocked your son.   I don't know your family at all, obviously!, but if I were in your position I'd be wondering why he's so clingy, anti everyone else at the moment + also so upset.  He may be clingy with you because you are the main person in his life??  His rock.  When my son was small he drew a number of wrong conclusions from things.  If something happened on a certain date + month he thought it would happen every yr.  I've mentioned this just to illustrate how easily wrong conclusions can be made.  Like your son, mine had delayed speech, altho he understood a number of words + phrases before he started talking at 5 yrs.  Have you been preparing him for the baby's arrival?  Changes can be destabilising, but sorry,this is purely guesswork + it cd be something else entirely.  It's like trying to solve something really complicated, looking for that elusive clue.     I hope things settle a bit for you soon.  I know life must be so difficult for all of you.

Hi,

We are going through a similar situation.  We could normally 'control' her 'meltdowns', but lately she is stressed all of the time, and very unhappy with everybody and everything.  Our usual calming measures are having no affect at all.

Her portage worker thinks that possibly, because she has made a few small developments lately (starting to make vowel sounds, purposely make marks on paper etc), she is feeling overwhelmed by all this new information she is having to process, so she is more aware of everything that she would normally block out.

It IS just a possibility.  I would just give him time, and if things don't improve after a few weeks seek further advice.  I know that's difficult, especially given your pregnancy, but hang in there. 

Thank you for your reply Crystal12 it was really helpful. You are definitely right when you say something has knocked him. It was ever since the october half term, he was a nightmare when he was at home and we thought at the time that the change in routine made him worse. But it has been a month since then and he is still so distressed? Another thing which is bothering us is he had his MMR booster around that time too. With all the controversy surrounding the vaccination, we can't help but worry that this may have made him worse somehow, however slim the chances are.

hi supermummy - this must be v difficult for you, your husband + Gabriel's grandparents.   He sounds v stressed out + is clinging to you for reassurance.  It must be frightening for him. That's why he's hanging on to you.  When my son's had a marked change in behaviour for the worse it's usually been to do with : (a) an unwelcome change in routine/circumstances, (b) being in an autism-unfriendly environment - by this I mean being with people who don't understand him and/or having an environment that stresses him, such as too much going on, too noisy etc).  Possibly it is your pregnancy.  My son "listens in".  It looks like he's not taking any notice but he is.  He can surprise me with what he understands + surprise me with what he doesn't understand.  My son can misinterpret things so sometimes doesn't see the complete picture but naturally draws conclusions from what he's seen.  This can lead to making the wrong conclusions.  Other times he's spot on.  If he has problems explaining what the matter is then he'll resort to other behaviours to try + stabilise himself.  Others may have been in a position similar to yourselves + may be more helpful than me.  They will also reply to you.   Something's certainly knocked him back in a big way.  All I can say is to keep to his routine, keep as calm as humanly possible.  I know you'll be reassuring him as long as he understands enough to take it in.   It's terribly difficult.  I know from experience.  bw