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In desperate need of advice from other parents

Supermummy

Hello,

My husband and I are deeply concerned about our nearly 4 year old son who got his ASD diagnosis at the start of this year. He has been in a special nursery for the last 12 months which has been fantastic and we do have support. Gabriel's main problem has been speech delay/sleep problems and aside from the odd quirky tic, we would have never classed him as being severe ASD or had any major reason to worry. His speech has since improved and we are using daily visual charts to help him feel secure.

His autism has always been more pronounced when he's ill, which is why over a month ago when he started playing up, we presumed he was coming down with something. However he isn't ill and we have no idea why our beautiful little boy has had a complete personality transplant in the last 4 weeks.

Firstly, he is OBSESSED with me, (mummy), he is literally my shadow at the minute and is completely shunning his dad which is really upsetting for my husband. I am currently 6 months pregnant, so to be solely relied on 24/7 when his behaviour is so terrible is really affecting my health and im worried for my unborn daughter. Gabriel is also physically very rough. He is screaming all the time, shouting, we have had to apologise to the neighbours in fear that they think we are abusing him. His nursery workers have also expressed concern as he is playing up at nursery. He is shunning his grandparents who he absolutely adores so we can't even get a break anymore. He just wants me all the time and screams if anyone else (mainly male) approaches him. 

He has also been "stimming" an awful lot more compared to what he used to, he had a solid 30 minutes sat in his bed the other night, twisting his arms, doing weird things with his face and making growling noises. His eyes were glazed over and he just wasn't there. It was horrific to watch. He is always repeating things what people have said to him, particularly things like "no gabriel, stop" or "sit down gabriel, enough" All things that we and his nursery workers say to him to try and discipline him but he isn't responding to discipline, which is so frustrating.

Does anybody have any insight whatsoever as to why our little boy has gone from the usually calm, content lad he was to this super-stressed stranger? I suspected it was to do with my pregnancy but my husband disagrees as Gabriel pays no notice to the fact that we're having another baby and seems to be a bit oblivious. He is also barely eating so I wonder whether diet plays a part.

Many thanks in advance,

Emma.

Parents

  • hi again - as you know, because Gabriel has limited speech it is more difficult to discover what's upsetting him.   He may not be clear about it himself, even if he could tell you it might be a short sentence or phrase.   I don't know how he expresses himself verbally, but my son does 1 of 2 things.  If it's a simple matter, say a disappointment, then he's straight out with it.  He easily makes that link.   If it's something more complex, ie: a situation is winding him up but he doesn't connect his distress with that situation, then he'll complain in general about all sorts of things.  This is like us, if you think about it.  We have a number of stressors throughout the day + then another 1 + by that time we're really fed up.  We may not mention them all, just some.  I can understand you thinking about the mmr.  It became infamous.  MMR was given around the same time that parents were getting concerned about their child's development in some instances.  Dr Wakefield's theories have been disproved but it doesn't stop people wondering.   Life is full of coincidences so don't dwell on it too much because you don't know what's knocked your son.   I don't know your family at all, obviously!, but if I were in your position I'd be wondering why he's so clingy, anti everyone else at the moment + also so upset.  He may be clingy with you because you are the main person in his life??  His rock.  When my son was small he drew a number of wrong conclusions from things.  If something happened on a certain date + month he thought it would happen every yr.  I've mentioned this just to illustrate how easily wrong conclusions can be made.  Like your son, mine had delayed speech, altho he understood a number of words + phrases before he started talking at 5 yrs.  Have you been preparing him for the baby's arrival?  Changes can be destabilising, but sorry,this is purely guesswork + it cd be something else entirely.  It's like trying to solve something really complicated, looking for that elusive clue.     I hope things settle a bit for you soon.  I know life must be so difficult for all of you.

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  • hi again - as you know, because Gabriel has limited speech it is more difficult to discover what's upsetting him.   He may not be clear about it himself, even if he could tell you it might be a short sentence or phrase.   I don't know how he expresses himself verbally, but my son does 1 of 2 things.  If it's a simple matter, say a disappointment, then he's straight out with it.  He easily makes that link.   If it's something more complex, ie: a situation is winding him up but he doesn't connect his distress with that situation, then he'll complain in general about all sorts of things.  This is like us, if you think about it.  We have a number of stressors throughout the day + then another 1 + by that time we're really fed up.  We may not mention them all, just some.  I can understand you thinking about the mmr.  It became infamous.  MMR was given around the same time that parents were getting concerned about their child's development in some instances.  Dr Wakefield's theories have been disproved but it doesn't stop people wondering.   Life is full of coincidences so don't dwell on it too much because you don't know what's knocked your son.   I don't know your family at all, obviously!, but if I were in your position I'd be wondering why he's so clingy, anti everyone else at the moment + also so upset.  He may be clingy with you because you are the main person in his life??  His rock.  When my son was small he drew a number of wrong conclusions from things.  If something happened on a certain date + month he thought it would happen every yr.  I've mentioned this just to illustrate how easily wrong conclusions can be made.  Like your son, mine had delayed speech, altho he understood a number of words + phrases before he started talking at 5 yrs.  Have you been preparing him for the baby's arrival?  Changes can be destabilising, but sorry,this is purely guesswork + it cd be something else entirely.  It's like trying to solve something really complicated, looking for that elusive clue.     I hope things settle a bit for you soon.  I know life must be so difficult for all of you.

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