In desperate need of advice from other parents

Hello,

My husband and I are deeply concerned about our nearly 4 year old son who got his ASD diagnosis at the start of this year. He has been in a special nursery for the last 12 months which has been fantastic and we do have support. Gabriel's main problem has been speech delay/sleep problems and aside from the odd quirky tic, we would have never classed him as being severe ASD or had any major reason to worry. His speech has since improved and we are using daily visual charts to help him feel secure.

His autism has always been more pronounced when he's ill, which is why over a month ago when he started playing up, we presumed he was coming down with something. However he isn't ill and we have no idea why our beautiful little boy has had a complete personality transplant in the last 4 weeks.

Firstly, he is OBSESSED with me, (mummy), he is literally my shadow at the minute and is completely shunning his dad which is really upsetting for my husband. I am currently 6 months pregnant, so to be solely relied on 24/7 when his behaviour is so terrible is really affecting my health and im worried for my unborn daughter. Gabriel is also physically very rough. He is screaming all the time, shouting, we have had to apologise to the neighbours in fear that they think we are abusing him. His nursery workers have also expressed concern as he is playing up at nursery. He is shunning his grandparents who he absolutely adores so we can't even get a break anymore. He just wants me all the time and screams if anyone else (mainly male) approaches him. 

He has also been "stimming" an awful lot more compared to what he used to, he had a solid 30 minutes sat in his bed the other night, twisting his arms, doing weird things with his face and making growling noises. His eyes were glazed over and he just wasn't there. It was horrific to watch. He is always repeating things what people have said to him, particularly things like "no gabriel, stop" or "sit down gabriel, enough" All things that we and his nursery workers say to him to try and discipline him but he isn't responding to discipline, which is so frustrating.

Does anybody have any insight whatsoever as to why our little boy has gone from the usually calm, content lad he was to this super-stressed stranger? I suspected it was to do with my pregnancy but my husband disagrees as Gabriel pays no notice to the fact that we're having another baby and seems to be a bit oblivious. He is also barely eating so I wonder whether diet plays a part.

Many thanks in advance,

Emma.

Parents
  • hi supermummy - this must be v difficult for you, your husband + Gabriel's grandparents.   He sounds v stressed out + is clinging to you for reassurance.  It must be frightening for him. That's why he's hanging on to you.  When my son's had a marked change in behaviour for the worse it's usually been to do with : (a) an unwelcome change in routine/circumstances, (b) being in an autism-unfriendly environment - by this I mean being with people who don't understand him and/or having an environment that stresses him, such as too much going on, too noisy etc).  Possibly it is your pregnancy.  My son "listens in".  It looks like he's not taking any notice but he is.  He can surprise me with what he understands + surprise me with what he doesn't understand.  My son can misinterpret things so sometimes doesn't see the complete picture but naturally draws conclusions from what he's seen.  This can lead to making the wrong conclusions.  Other times he's spot on.  If he has problems explaining what the matter is then he'll resort to other behaviours to try + stabilise himself.  Others may have been in a position similar to yourselves + may be more helpful than me.  They will also reply to you.   Something's certainly knocked him back in a big way.  All I can say is to keep to his routine, keep as calm as humanly possible.  I know you'll be reassuring him as long as he understands enough to take it in.   It's terribly difficult.  I know from experience.  bw

Reply
  • hi supermummy - this must be v difficult for you, your husband + Gabriel's grandparents.   He sounds v stressed out + is clinging to you for reassurance.  It must be frightening for him. That's why he's hanging on to you.  When my son's had a marked change in behaviour for the worse it's usually been to do with : (a) an unwelcome change in routine/circumstances, (b) being in an autism-unfriendly environment - by this I mean being with people who don't understand him and/or having an environment that stresses him, such as too much going on, too noisy etc).  Possibly it is your pregnancy.  My son "listens in".  It looks like he's not taking any notice but he is.  He can surprise me with what he understands + surprise me with what he doesn't understand.  My son can misinterpret things so sometimes doesn't see the complete picture but naturally draws conclusions from what he's seen.  This can lead to making the wrong conclusions.  Other times he's spot on.  If he has problems explaining what the matter is then he'll resort to other behaviours to try + stabilise himself.  Others may have been in a position similar to yourselves + may be more helpful than me.  They will also reply to you.   Something's certainly knocked him back in a big way.  All I can say is to keep to his routine, keep as calm as humanly possible.  I know you'll be reassuring him as long as he understands enough to take it in.   It's terribly difficult.  I know from experience.  bw

Children
No Data