Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, I hope you can add some words of comfort.
I'm a 28 year old mom to my son who is 2 years, 3 months old. As of the moment, we are at the beginning of our journey. My son has been seen by several health professionals who have all indicated he is on the spectrum but we are having to jump through the hoops to get a formal diagnosis.
At the moment my son doesn't speak any words, he struggles with social interaction e.g. doesn't make eye contact, doesn't have an awareness of his environment, isn't interested in forming relationships with other children/ people. He also has zero awareness of danger and no stranger danger. He doesn't rock, or spin but does flaps his hand when excited and doesn't occasionally bit his arms (not to excess though).
I'm absolutely terrified about his future, I'm unsure about where he will come on the spectrum but even so, I'm scared about whether he will form relationships, have a fulfilled life and generally be happy. I have seen lots of stories of people living amazing lives living with Autism, but it's currently hard for me to see into the future like that and I'm losing sleep over it.
Has anyone else felt like this? Sorry for the long post, my head is just constantly swimming with thoughts and concerns.
As a mum, I know exactly how you feel. Yet, as an autistic my concerns have come from the other side - I've had sleepless nights and sat and cried at the thought of my daughter having the predominant neurotype (PNT) aka 'being normal'. I guess we all think our own situation is better.
I'm a lot like your son. Spoke late, I'm not interested in socialising or having friends simply for the sake of it although I like to have a good look at people instead of avoiding eye. I'm grateful every day that I'm autistic. I'm a teacher, am married, have a 6-month-old and am working towards a PhD. I enjoy my own time when I'm alone and have a few good friends who would be there for me if I needed them. I'm really glad I don't crave social interaction and social acceptance as those I know who do have a lot of shallow relationships.
Instead of his neurotype, it is the attitude of those around him, as well as the role models he's exposed to that will make the greatest difference to his life.
Hi NAS50301,
Thank you for replying to me, I find your situation really interesting and comforting.
I think my biggest issue is the unknown, currently we're jumping through the medical hoops to get my son formally diagnosed but the lack of answers anyone is willing to give and the length of the process is highly frustrating - yet I know there is nothing I can do about it.
My son had a tough start to his life so I also feel vastly responsible as his mother, even though I've been told numerous times that this is nothing to do with me so to speak.
As I mentioned to Muzzy who kindly also replied, I live and breathe for my son and both myself and my husband have said that we will solely invest ourselves to ensuring he always feels loved, safe and happy. I guess as his mom, that's all I can do!
Thank you again for taking the time to reply to me, it means a lot.
Natasha