Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, I hope you can add some words of comfort.
I'm a 28 year old mom to my son who is 2 years, 3 months old. As of the moment, we are at the beginning of our journey. My son has been seen by several health professionals who have all indicated he is on the spectrum but we are having to jump through the hoops to get a formal diagnosis.
At the moment my son doesn't speak any words, he struggles with social interaction e.g. doesn't make eye contact, doesn't have an awareness of his environment, isn't interested in forming relationships with other children/ people. He also has zero awareness of danger and no stranger danger. He doesn't rock, or spin but does flaps his hand when excited and doesn't occasionally bit his arms (not to excess though).
I'm absolutely terrified about his future, I'm unsure about where he will come on the spectrum but even so, I'm scared about whether he will form relationships, have a fulfilled life and generally be happy. I have seen lots of stories of people living amazing lives living with Autism, but it's currently hard for me to see into the future like that and I'm losing sleep over it.
Has anyone else felt like this? Sorry for the long post, my head is just constantly swimming with thoughts and concerns.
Hello Nas66285
My name is Muzzy .
I'm a 34 year old mother of 3 sons , and I would like to first say how proud I am of you as a mother for asking for help with your little angel.
It's very important that you don't let your fears overcome you , and not all children with autism symptoms present in the same way.
identifying diagnosis of autism in boys is actually much more heard of and acknowledged by the experts who assess for autism in boys , so this itself means that your sons autism symptoms will be noticed by other professionals . Being a mother is the most hardest job in the world, yet the most equally rewarding job too. I honestly believe that all children and adults who have autism or any other disorder such as aspergers etc are gifted and are very clever children and adults , they just need extra support toward everyday functions , such as getting dressed , maintaining routines . There are many different ways that a parent can communicate with their young child who has autism , through sensory and through music , through facial expressions and even through sign language. I completely understand how concerned and worried you are about your son. I would advise you to research as much as you can about your sons symptoms , also perhaps keep a video or written diary of your young sons interaction with you and with others , also a diary log of how he reacts to feeding time , to having his nappy changed , what sounds he makes , how he reacts to lights , to colours , to sounds, as this diary log of your childs daily reactions to the listed functions will give the hospital and any other medical professional that he has to be examined by a concrete visual and auditory as well as wriiten diary of your young sons everyday life reactions , then they will be able to get the ball rolling with the evidence needed to compare your sons suspected autism symptoms to that of the autism criteria threshold for symptoms of autism for diagnosis.
I hope this helps you in some way.
please don't apologise for the long post , and its completely standard for anyone who is fighting to get their sons symptoms diagnosed to be head deep in thoughts and concerns , and I'm so grateful to you for seeking help , as it takes courage to ask for help , and all the greats asked for help to excel in life .
remember nobody is perfect , and as parents we have to fight for our childrens rights , as they cant fight their own rights , but we must maintain our composure and protect the innocent future of tomorrow.
enjoy every second with your son , and if you are experiencing criticism from others regardless of friends or family etc , you just remember this is your son , your the one who carried him through the pregnancy gestations an the brought him into this world and you know your son better than anyone , so ignore anyone who brings you down by criticising you and those who don't offer any support , and enjoy the cuddles with your son , treat him the same way you would treat any child regardless of his symptoms , as that's what every child needs , enjoy giving him baths , blow bubbles and enjoy your little sons reactions to it , listen to your favourite music and dance away , smile , laugh for you are doing great and you baby is connected with you.
kind regards Muzzy.
apologies for my misspelling I have blurred vision .
Hi Muzzy,
Thank you so much for your words, it has honestly made me feel a whole lot better - even just knowing that you're not alone in this is so comforting.
I think my concerns about his future stems from the fact my son has already been treated differently. I have two nieces who are 4 and 2 (the two year old is 3 months older than my son) and my father-in-law already treats my son much, much differently than the girls. We have asked him why he doesn't make as much effort with my son and his reply was 'well he doesn't make the effort with me' or 'I cant get him to have an interest in me, what do you want me to do!?'.
While I know this is my father-in-law's issue completely, it was what started the worry and made me questions whether this is something my son will suffer with forever. Shows on TV like 'undateables', I've really taken a dislike to as they pretend to portray learning disabilities, autism and physical disabilities in this format as a 'look, see! even they can find love!' and in actuality they're only highlighting the differences in these people to what is deemed as 'normal'....in my opinion of course.
I live and breathe for my son and will ensure that whatever happens, he will feel loved, cherished and be happy
Thank you again for taking the time to reply to my post.
Natasha