Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there. Our six year old son has just received a diagnosis of autism (it's been a long old process). We have awful problems with his diet; he used to eat a really wide variety of food until he was about 4. Now all he will eat is milk loaf with either nutella or peanut butter (he eats this rarely now), cheese straws, pain au chocolate, crackers and sweets. He refuses to eat fruit - up until recently he would eat raspberries. I'm at my wits end. When I try to encourage him to try new foods he just point blank refuses and also refuses any further mention of the subject. Does anyone have any suggestions. He is extremely stubborn and if he says no then that's the end of the matter as far as he's concerned. I've tried everything I can think of and nothing seems to work. I really feel as if I'm failing him and this contributes to my depression. Any help gratefully received.
Food is a huge anxiety tool. Kids use it to manipulate their parents. If you end up making food into a battle, you will lose.
The easiest way to deal with food issues is to take the pressure off. Try to make it fun with no stress - give him what he wants with extra stuff - like toast cut up like Tetris - make a puzzle out of it. Fries can be stacked like Jenga, Try making naughty words from alphabetti. Make sure you tell him to just eat the good bits and leave the rest - that means there's no pressure to clear the plate. You're wasting your time trying to get him to eat 'healthy' stuff that doesn't taste good. Once food is fun, you can then do permutations and combinations because he 'likes' all the parts.
Fruit can be a bit sharp on its own - try tinned fruit in syrup or make a jelly with fruit in it. It's all about getting it in under the radar and then introducing variations. Try different types of cheeses, crackers & cheese is practically a pizza - try making mini pizzas like that - and then add extra toppings on a couple - maybe a little ham - then microwave to make the cheese stringy. Pizzas & burgers are a great way to add extras like bacon, mushrooms, lettuce, tomato, different breads - and then you're into paninis, rolls, toasties etc.
Make each step very small & logical and he's more likely to taste it. Involve him with your cooking and let all the smells tempt him. Go through all your ingredients and let him sniff and taste things - take him to the supermarket and show him all the foods - like on the deli-counter. Avoid strong smells & flavours unless he gravitates that way.
You might need to be careful when putting things on a plate - foods touching other things like baked beans 'contaminates' the food and gives an excuse.
A bowl of 'dipping gravy' is another way to try to introduce tasteless food like veg.
Remember - fun will work, pressure won't.
In a couple of years, he'll be measuring himself against his peers and he'll suddenly want to fit in - so they suddenly start to want to try new things.
Good luck!
Thanks for the reply. Some really good ideas, thanks again