Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
i wonder if any parents can offer advice on helping with meltdowns. Our daughter will have a meltdown every morning. Or when there is a change. We try to avoid them thinking ahead etc, one was caused as she couldn’t find her socks. The meltdowns are crying and wailing and screaming, punching herself, biting a towel. I stand out of the room and tell her to hit the pillow instead but that also annoys her. So usually we leave her and say when you feel better come and see us and we’ll have a drink etc. She often apologetic about her behaviour but we just move on.
I am concerned as the meltdowns are getting worse and she doesn’t understand why she has them.
How does your child meltdown ? Is it similar to our daughter ?
What works to help your child?
I know everyone is different but any advice would be most welcome x
I read something recently that has completely changed how I deal with meltdowns, and in summary it was something like 'if your child has a social language disorder, you cannot fix a meltdown by trying to use language' - which is exactly what I had been doing. Trying to talk things through. I have started to accept that by the time my kid is having a meltdown, they are well and truly in fight or flight mode and no amount of talking is going to make any difference. Unless I shout - which just makes us both feel bad. We've tried to give strategies that can be used - yoga breaths, removing themselves to somewhere safe, changing the sensory input. e.g. turn the lights off/down, go and sit on the grass, or in the play house. So we have tried to introduce some preemptive stuff. We also talk about consequences, which still apply if there is hitting or spitting etc.