Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there
My daughter was diagnosed with aspergers with high anxiety earlier this year and she has been going downhill for over a year now. We have been paying for private counselling and they believe the best thing for her would be to homeschool her as she is struggling with the social side of school so much. The school have been quite good and introduced some things to help her but the main problem is friends and that can't be fixed. Most of her friends have withdrawn now and she is often alone. She has always been exceeding educationally so there aren't any concerns there but I don't know what to do now. She is horrendous at getting to bed - she has really long drawn out routines that have to be restarted if she makes a mistake or if she talks to one of us after and it has to be done with each of us, including the dog! We started taking her computer etc away two hours before bed and she is fine then but takes hours to get her settled. It also takes her ages to get out of bed and get dressed and often insists on help to get dressed. We are at the end of our tether and wonder if it would be trying to pull her out for a break or even for good if this is the trigger that's making her so unhappy? She never wants to go in and is clingy and tearful in the mornings. I have struggled to get her in a few times and so kept her off but her attendance has fallen below 90% so I've got the obligatory warning letter. Spoke to the doctor and she said sounds like I'm doing as much as I can and they should be understanding as to why she is off more than normal. Plus I do more with her at home than she probably gets at school!!
Anyone have any advice please??
Caveat - this is my opinion only and written in haste. After some very unsuccessful 'schooling', we decided to home 'educate' our two children on the spectrum (there is a big difference between being schooled and being educated...). It had it's ups and downs but was mostly a good experience - I have no regrets having given up my job to do it, I was a teacher. GCSEs and a whole range of stuff from home. Daughter did a few GCSEs then joined a very small school for some GCSEs. In London, there were loads of HE groups (does depend where you are based), trips and opportunities to socialise but it depends how sociable your child is too. People HE for all sorts of reasons so cannot be put into a box (eg: religion, SEN, lifestyle choice).
The NAS has a good link to Home Education as an option:
https://www.autism.org.uk/about/in-education/choosing-school/home-education.aspx
As well as this forum, I would join the HE Special Forum (you can find this under useful resources further down the page that is linked to) - they are an excellent source of support.
Good luck.
Thanks so much and I’ll definitely look up those sites. It must have been a bit reassuring for you that you knew what you were doing being a teacher so I’m just wary of letting her down as she is so bright. Ive been told though that you’ll always find the answers online as there are a lot of passionate teachers out there that post videos to aide home education.
Just wish I had a crystal ball to see what the best path would be!