Agressive Behaviour 5 year old.

I’m really sorry for you going through this. He’s lucky to have someone fighting for him. I’m not sure if this is helpful but if you have the money, you can pay for someone to write your EHCP for you and submit it, you don’t need to go through school for this. They’re experts and will gather all evidence on your child’s behalf etc

My son is 6, and he is a natural disaster. The wife and I understand that it is natural for kids to not behave at such a young age. He may be little, but he definitely knows how to manipulate us. So when I see that he is putting on a performance to get what he wants, I make sure to be a little harsher. Hence, he understands that being naughty is sometimes tolerated, but he shouldn't make it a habit. The last time he made a scene was when we were visiting my father at seniorsite.org. So I had to act and punish where it hurt him. Pretty easy nowadays - restricted access to the smartphone works every time, turning him into an angel :).

My son is 6, and he is a natural disaster. The wife and I understand that it is natural for kids to not behave at such a young age. He may be little, but he definitely knows how to manipulate us. So when I see that he is putting on a performance to get what he wants, I make sure to be a little harsher. Hence, he understands that being naughty is sometimes tolerated, but he shouldn't make it a habit. The last time he made a scene was when we were visiting my father at [link removed by moderator]. So I had to act and punish where it hurt him. Pretty easy nowadays - restricted access to the smartphone works every time, turning him into an angel :).

Thank you for those link. 

I've had a good look and there's a couple of things on there we haven't tried. I like the idea of the emotion chart.

As for some professional help for him I'd love that. I've been asking school and senco to help me find a behaviour specialist but I think I'm going to take him to the GP to see if they can refer him to anyone. 

Thanks again everyone! 

Hi Shaz287,

I'm sorry that you are going through this difficult situation. You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies:

http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/understanding-behaviour.aspx

You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx

You may like to contact The Autism Helpline who can provide information and advice on behaviour and strategies. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor.

We have a page on our website that centres around physical challenging behaviour. Including the possible causes, as well as strategies and interventions your nephew's parents can adopt to improve his behaviour: http://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour/challenging-behaviour.aspx

You may find it useful to have a look at our behaviour guidelines and general behaviour page:

www.autism.org.uk/.../guidelines.aspx

www.autism.org.uk/.../behaviour.aspx

You may also like to contact Young Minds http://www.youngminds.org.uk/ who are the UK's leading charity regarding children and young people's mental health and wellbeing.  They have a helpline offering confidential support to anyone concerned about the emotional problems or behaviour of a child or young person.  Their Helpline number is 0808 802 5544.  

I hope this helps.

Best wishes,

Chloe Mod

Yeah mine lines up pens in rainbow order, she has so many traits and it was so much more obvious prior to starting school, but she learned to copy other people she is still limited socially has one friend but is really clever so doing well academically just wish she would sleep! 

It might be worth buying him one then and trying it at home. If it works I could ask them to do something similar at school in a safe area perhaps?

You would be surprised on that, my partner used to lash out at people when he was younger until he got a punch bag he soon picked up it was OK to hit that not people. 

Play tent is exactly what we used, we just leave it up in her room toys wise it is only a few teddies and a key ring that she likes to twist. We just ask her when she starts looking agitated does she need space? If she does then she goes up there 

It took me three of four attempts to get him seen! They weren't very helpful before. After me pushing and pushing he got seen and now the CDC is totally different hahaha very helpful now. 

He has very good social skills. He has friends, can play normally and is very clever. No developmental delays. Except from his behaviour and the fact he doesn't always look at you he doesn't exhibit many classic autistic traits. 

They noted some things at his first appointment that no one else had seen. Example, he was lining cars up because they were about to race. I didn't think much of it before but apparently that's a tendancy. 

I don't blame you, hope all goes well for you at least your cdc is helpful ours is useless! Been trying to get my daughter seen for 4 years now we keep being rejected for stupid reasons like wording on referral letters not, enough evidence having a friend! Now she is older and we get to start again with camhs! The one good thing we have is a great school and a brilliant senco 

When they told me Thursday that they haven't even sent his EHCP out yet I phoned CDC for advice who passed me to the Inclusion Support. Who were less than impressed. So between me and Inclusion support we have phone various people to organise a meeting with the school on Wednesday. 

I have his teachers and Ed Psych, inclusion support someone from Education Services, Home Ed services and a rep from CDC and a independent Senco advisor going. 

I'm hoping we get somethibg organised and a plan set in motion as I'm going to take him out of school if nothing is sorted 

Take it to local education authority, express concerns that school is failing to do what is required and that they are basically discriminating due to disability. Seriously go over the school get the information from this site and speak to one of the advisors on here they can point you in the exact direction of where to lodge a complaint 

I usually remove everything from the living room and let him sort of paddy it out. As there is no talking to him in the midst of his meltdown. He has a lot of books in there which help calm him down. 

I have tried sensory things but he's not overly bothered by them. 

He's also got a little play tent that he likes to sit in. We call it his hideaway tent and were trying at the minute to get him to ask for it when he needs it. 

I've been advised to buy something he can hit. Like a kids punch bag or something like that. But I'm not sure encouraging him to hit something is the right way to go when he's hitting kids and teachers and me. 

Yeah he's been seen by the Educational Psychologist which I had a report for and he's been seen by the CDC and I have just a simple report saying he needs further assessment. 

Problem we all have, me and school is that he has no definable trigger. It varies day to day. It can be someone standing to close one day and the next something completely different. 

They were supposed to apply for the EHCP last year which is why the Ed Psych came in. 

The education psychologist saw exactly what he needed but school is just dragging on everything. I asked what they're waiting for and all I got was they need more evidence. He's getting excluded and been seen by the people he's supposed to be seen by so I don't know exactly what they're waiting for. But they haven't put into place anything the ed psych asked them to anyway. 

Have you tried safe space? We just introduced it for our daughter she is fine in school but blows up at home and lashes out at her younger siblings so we built her a calm down area when she starts to get agitated she goes there and sits with her sensory toys until she is calm, we have found this helps but we do still get the odd meltdown 

They really need to look at why he is having a meltdown, not just hold him down, they have a duty to educate your son and dragging their heels on ehcp is not helping anyone least of all your son. 

You mentioned that he has been seen and that you do have a report of some kind, does this not contain enough info for the school to file for ehcp? If the school is intentionally delaying it complain in writing to the school governors and local authorities, have you tried family support worker? (not social worker! ) I found they were great in that schools listen to them more than us parents. They can also help with support for you at home if you need/want it. 

My little one needs 1-1 he's worse at school. Just fighting to get it. 

I'm sorry he's taking it out on your 18 month old. It must be ten times harder when you have other children in the house. 

Have you got any tips for trying anything at home? I'm out of ideas. Done everything from revoking privileges to naughty step. Sticker charts you name is. 

As far as I'm aware no they're not trained. 

I gave permission for them to pick him up and move him and take his shoes off etc so he doesn't hurt anyone. One of the teaching assistant usually sits on the floor with him and like holds her arms around him. She's not touching him as such and he deals with that because she lets him kick his legs on the floor to try and release his anger at that point. 

But this time the TA had his arms around him and his teacher was holding his ankles. So he couldn't kick .

They were doing it to stop him throwing and hitting them. There were no kids in classroom at the time 

This is the same teacher who told me she doesn't feel safe around him 

Hi there,

I feel the same as you some times. My 6 year old was recently diagnosed. His old teacher was the one who told me to go to my GP and get him diagnosed which I did. 

He gets seen by SENCO in school but he never shows any irrational behaviour in school but at home his totally different. Screaming, shouting and fighting. I spoke to the SEMCo coordinator and she suspects that he holds it in until home time but what she doesn't understand is that it's really difficult to deal with as he sometimes takes it out on my 18 month old.

I never got any support from the school at first but I kept pushing and pushing until he got seen by the senco team for 1-to-1 sessions. He was doing well but now his only getting sessions once a month so I'm taking back to the GP to see if they can do anything 

Hi

Welcome to the forum, I'm sorry you are having so many issues with your sons school, 

Try the education rights pages on this site they are full of information on what the school must do and also the laws on excluding him due to disability. Call the helpline they can give specialist advice on this. 

I am really disturbed that you found two teachers restraining him on the floor, were they normal teachers did they have training in restraint? In our school only a handful of senior teachers with training may do this and only in an emergency situation. 

I'm sorry I'm not more helpful but wanted you to know someone is listening x