I am pretty much a newbie at this but I literally have nowhere left to turn.
My son is now 5 and I've seen behavioural problems in him since he was about 2 1/2. It all started when he moved from the baby room in nursery to the bigger room. He is now in a foundation class in a mainstream school.
Now I've been fighting for someone to see him since it all started. We've had biting (which he's outgrown) and now it's turned into full blown meltdowns. He throws things, kicks, slaps, screams and scares the other children.
I was told in foundation 1 that he would be referred to an education psychologist who came to see him last year in May who said we needed to have and EHCP plan in place and also a referral to the CDC.
We went to the CDC who then referred him for further assessment for suspected Autism (don't even get me started on the comments made in his report)
His behaviour is getting worse and he's now been excluded twice from school. He isn't on a full timetable but rather on half days.
The school is doing nothing. His EHCP still hasn't been sent off yet and it's A YEAR LATER! the senco says she's waiting for evidence. HOW MUCH EVIDENCE DO THEY NEED!!
I've got teachers actually telling me they don't feel safe around my 5 year old. I walked in the other day, after they'd phoned me to pick him up, and two teachers were restraining him on the floor which was making him 10 times worse. I want some sort of support in school as he responds well to 1-1 support but they're refusing until the EHCP is sent off and awarded (but they haven't sent it yet!)
If he has a meltdown at school I then have to deal with it all day at home. He's agressive he trashes the house and to be quite honest I'm at breaking point. I don't know what to do, who to turn to next and even what to suggest.
I do discipline him and he is sorry and he knows what he's doing is wrong but once he's in full blown mode there's no talking to him.
I feel so sick leaving him at school. I become physically ill and can't sit still for worrying about what's happening when he's there. I don't like anyone ringing me in case school phones, I darent leave the house.
It's a living nightmare and I'm getting very little support from school.
Please has anyone got any advice?
Im literally at breaking point.
Welcome to the forum, I'm sorry you are having so many issues with your sons school,
Try the education rights pages on this site they are full of information on what the school must do and also the laws on excluding him due to disability. Call the helpline they can give specialist advice on this.
I am really disturbed that you found two teachers restraining him on the floor, were they normal teachers did they have training in restraint? In our school only a handful of senior teachers with training may do this and only in an emergency situation.
I'm sorry I'm not more helpful but wanted you to know someone is listening x
I feel the same as you some times. My 6 year old was recently diagnosed. His old teacher was the one who told me to go to my GP and get him diagnosed which I did.
He gets seen by SENCO in school but he never shows any irrational behaviour in school but at home his totally different. Screaming, shouting and fighting. I spoke to the SEMCo coordinator and she suspects that he holds it in until home time but what she doesn't understand is that it's really difficult to deal with as he sometimes takes it out on my 18 month old.
I never got any support from the school at first but I kept pushing and pushing until he got seen by the senco team for 1-to-1 sessions. He was doing well but now his only getting sessions once a month so I'm taking back to the GP to see if they can do anything
As far as I'm aware no they're not trained.
I gave permission for them to pick him up and move him and take his shoes off etc so he doesn't hurt anyone. One of the teaching assistant usually sits on the floor with him and like holds her arms around him. She's not touching him as such and he deals with that because she lets him kick his legs on the floor to try and release his anger at that point.
But this time the TA had his arms around him and his teacher was holding his ankles. So he couldn't kick .
They were doing it to stop him throwing and hitting them. There were no kids in classroom at the time
This is the same teacher who told me she doesn't feel safe around him
My little one needs 1-1 he's worse at school. Just fighting to get it.
I'm sorry he's taking it out on your 18 month old. It must be ten times harder when you have other children in the house.
Have you got any tips for trying anything at home? I'm out of ideas. Done everything from revoking privileges to naughty step. Sticker charts you name is.
They really need to look at why he is having a meltdown, not just hold him down, they have a duty to educate your son and dragging their heels on ehcp is not helping anyone least of all your son.
You mentioned that he has been seen and that you do have a report of some kind, does this not contain enough info for the school to file for ehcp? If the school is intentionally delaying it complain in writing to the school governors and local authorities, have you tried family support worker? (not social worker! ) I found they were great in that schools listen to them more than us parents. They can also help with support for you at home if you need/want it.
Have you tried safe space? We just introduced it for our daughter she is fine in school but blows up at home and lashes out at her younger siblings so we built her a calm down area when she starts to get agitated she goes there and sits with her sensory toys until she is calm, we have found this helps but we do still get the odd meltdown
Yeah he's been seen by the Educational Psychologist which I had a report for and he's been seen by the CDC and I have just a simple report saying he needs further assessment.
Problem we all have, me and school is that he has no definable trigger. It varies day to day. It can be someone standing to close one day and the next something completely different.
They were supposed to apply for the EHCP last year which is why the Ed Psych came in.
The education psychologist saw exactly what he needed but school is just dragging on everything. I asked what they're waiting for and all I got was they need more evidence. He's getting excluded and been seen by the people he's supposed to be seen by so I don't know exactly what they're waiting for. But they haven't put into place anything the ed psych asked them to anyway.
I usually remove everything from the living room and let him sort of paddy it out. As there is no talking to him in the midst of his meltdown. He has a lot of books in there which help calm him down.
I have tried sensory things but he's not overly bothered by them.
He's also got a little play tent that he likes to sit in. We call it his hideaway tent and were trying at the minute to get him to ask for it when he needs it.
I've been advised to buy something he can hit. Like a kids punch bag or something like that. But I'm not sure encouraging him to hit something is the right way to go when he's hitting kids and teachers and me.
Take it to local education authority, express concerns that school is failing to do what is required and that they are basically discriminating due to disability. Seriously go over the school get the information from this site and speak to one of the advisors on here they can point you in the exact direction of where to lodge a complaint
When they told me Thursday that they haven't even sent his EHCP out yet I phoned CDC for advice who passed me to the Inclusion Support. Who were less than impressed. So between me and Inclusion support we have phone various people to organise a meeting with the school on Wednesday.
I have his teachers and Ed Psych, inclusion support someone from Education Services, Home Ed services and a rep from CDC and a independent Senco advisor going.
I'm hoping we get somethibg organised and a plan set in motion as I'm going to take him out of school if nothing is sorted