Agressive Behaviour 5 year old.

Hi there. 

I am pretty much a newbie at this but I literally have nowhere left to turn. 

My son is now 5 and I've seen behavioural problems in him since he was about 2 1/2. It all started when he moved from the baby room in nursery to the bigger room. He is now in a foundation class in a mainstream school. 

Now I've been fighting for someone to see him since it all started. We've had biting (which he's outgrown) and now it's turned into full blown meltdowns. He throws things, kicks, slaps, screams and scares the other children. 

I was told in foundation 1 that he would be referred to an education psychologist who came to see him last year in May who said we needed to have and EHCP plan in place and also a referral to the CDC. 

We went to the CDC who then referred him for further assessment for suspected Autism (don't even get me started on the comments made in his report) 

His behaviour is getting worse and he's now been excluded twice from school. He isn't on a full timetable but rather on half days. 

The school is doing nothing. His EHCP still hasn't been sent off yet and it's A YEAR LATER! the senco says she's waiting for evidence. HOW MUCH EVIDENCE DO THEY NEED!!

I've got teachers actually telling me they don't feel safe around my 5 year old. I walked in the other day, after they'd phoned me to pick him up, and two teachers were restraining him on the floor which was making him 10 times worse. I want some sort of support in school as he responds well to 1-1 support but they're refusing until the EHCP is sent off and awarded (but they haven't sent it yet!) 

If he has a meltdown at school I then have to deal with it all day at home. He's agressive he trashes the house and to be quite honest I'm at breaking point. I don't know what to do, who to turn to next and even what to suggest. 

I do discipline him and he is sorry and he knows what he's doing is wrong but once he's in full blown mode there's no talking to him. 

I feel so sick leaving him at school. I become physically ill and can't sit still for worrying about what's happening when he's there. I don't like anyone ringing me in case school phones, I darent leave the house. 

It's a living nightmare and I'm getting very little support from school. 

Please has anyone got any advice?

Im literally at breaking point. 

Parents
  • Hi there,

    I feel the same as you some times. My 6 year old was recently diagnosed. His old teacher was the one who told me to go to my GP and get him diagnosed which I did. 

    He gets seen by SENCO in school but he never shows any irrational behaviour in school but at home his totally different. Screaming, shouting and fighting. I spoke to the SEMCo coordinator and she suspects that he holds it in until home time but what she doesn't understand is that it's really difficult to deal with as he sometimes takes it out on my 18 month old.

    I never got any support from the school at first but I kept pushing and pushing until he got seen by the senco team for 1-to-1 sessions. He was doing well but now his only getting sessions once a month so I'm taking back to the GP to see if they can do anything 

  • My little one needs 1-1 he's worse at school. Just fighting to get it. 

    I'm sorry he's taking it out on your 18 month old. It must be ten times harder when you have other children in the house. 

    Have you got any tips for trying anything at home? I'm out of ideas. Done everything from revoking privileges to naughty step. Sticker charts you name is. 

  • Have you tried safe space? We just introduced it for our daughter she is fine in school but blows up at home and lashes out at her younger siblings so we built her a calm down area when she starts to get agitated she goes there and sits with her sensory toys until she is calm, we have found this helps but we do still get the odd meltdown 

Reply
  • Have you tried safe space? We just introduced it for our daughter she is fine in school but blows up at home and lashes out at her younger siblings so we built her a calm down area when she starts to get agitated she goes there and sits with her sensory toys until she is calm, we have found this helps but we do still get the odd meltdown 

Children
  • It might be worth buying him one then and trying it at home. If it works I could ask them to do something similar at school in a safe area perhaps?

  • You would be surprised on that, my partner used to lash out at people when he was younger until he got a punch bag he soon picked up it was OK to hit that not people. 

    Play tent is exactly what we used, we just leave it up in her room toys wise it is only a few teddies and a key ring that she likes to twist. We just ask her when she starts looking agitated does she need space? If she does then she goes up there 

  • I usually remove everything from the living room and let him sort of paddy it out. As there is no talking to him in the midst of his meltdown. He has a lot of books in there which help calm him down. 

    I have tried sensory things but he's not overly bothered by them. 

    He's also got a little play tent that he likes to sit in. We call it his hideaway tent and were trying at the minute to get him to ask for it when he needs it. 

    I've been advised to buy something he can hit. Like a kids punch bag or something like that. But I'm not sure encouraging him to hit something is the right way to go when he's hitting kids and teachers and me.