Agressive Behaviour 5 year old.

Hi there. 

I am pretty much a newbie at this but I literally have nowhere left to turn. 

My son is now 5 and I've seen behavioural problems in him since he was about 2 1/2. It all started when he moved from the baby room in nursery to the bigger room. He is now in a foundation class in a mainstream school. 

Now I've been fighting for someone to see him since it all started. We've had biting (which he's outgrown) and now it's turned into full blown meltdowns. He throws things, kicks, slaps, screams and scares the other children. 

I was told in foundation 1 that he would be referred to an education psychologist who came to see him last year in May who said we needed to have and EHCP plan in place and also a referral to the CDC. 

We went to the CDC who then referred him for further assessment for suspected Autism (don't even get me started on the comments made in his report) 

His behaviour is getting worse and he's now been excluded twice from school. He isn't on a full timetable but rather on half days. 

The school is doing nothing. His EHCP still hasn't been sent off yet and it's A YEAR LATER! the senco says she's waiting for evidence. HOW MUCH EVIDENCE DO THEY NEED!!

I've got teachers actually telling me they don't feel safe around my 5 year old. I walked in the other day, after they'd phoned me to pick him up, and two teachers were restraining him on the floor which was making him 10 times worse. I want some sort of support in school as he responds well to 1-1 support but they're refusing until the EHCP is sent off and awarded (but they haven't sent it yet!) 

If he has a meltdown at school I then have to deal with it all day at home. He's agressive he trashes the house and to be quite honest I'm at breaking point. I don't know what to do, who to turn to next and even what to suggest. 

I do discipline him and he is sorry and he knows what he's doing is wrong but once he's in full blown mode there's no talking to him. 

I feel so sick leaving him at school. I become physically ill and can't sit still for worrying about what's happening when he's there. I don't like anyone ringing me in case school phones, I darent leave the house. 

It's a living nightmare and I'm getting very little support from school. 

Please has anyone got any advice?

Im literally at breaking point. 

Parents
  • Hi ,

    I'm sorry that you are going through this difficult situation. You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/understanding-behaviour.aspx

    You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx

    You may like to contact The Autism Helpline who can provide information and advice on behaviour and strategies. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor.

    We have a page on our website that centres around physical challenging behaviour. Including the possible causes, as well as strategies and interventions your nephew's parents can adopt to improve his behaviour: http://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour/challenging-behaviour.aspx

    You may find it useful to have a look at our behaviour guidelines and general behaviour page:

    www.autism.org.uk/.../guidelines.aspx

    www.autism.org.uk/.../behaviour.aspx

    You may also like to contact Young Minds http://www.youngminds.org.uk/ who are the UK's leading charity regarding children and young people's mental health and wellbeing.  They have a helpline offering confidential support to anyone concerned about the emotional problems or behaviour of a child or young person.  Their Helpline number is 0808 802 5544.  

    I hope this helps.

    Best wishes,

    Chloe Mod

  • Thank you for those link. 

    I've had a good look and there's a couple of things on there we haven't tried. I like the idea of the emotion chart.

    As for some professional help for him I'd love that. I've been asking school and senco to help me find a behaviour specialist but I think I'm going to take him to the GP to see if they can refer him to anyone. 

    Thanks again everyone! 

Reply
  • Thank you for those link. 

    I've had a good look and there's a couple of things on there we haven't tried. I like the idea of the emotion chart.

    As for some professional help for him I'd love that. I've been asking school and senco to help me find a behaviour specialist but I think I'm going to take him to the GP to see if they can refer him to anyone. 

    Thanks again everyone! 

Children
  • My son is 6, and he is a natural disaster. The wife and I understand that it is natural for kids to not behave at such a young age. He may be little, but he definitely knows how to manipulate us. So when I see that he is putting on a performance to get what he wants, I make sure to be a little harsher. Hence, he understands that being naughty is sometimes tolerated, but he shouldn't make it a habit. The last time he made a scene was when we were visiting my father at [link removed by moderator]. So I had to act and punish where it hurt him. Pretty easy nowadays - restricted access to the smartphone works every time, turning him into an angel :).