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Punishment or acceptance?

loulabelle42
over 5 years ago

Hi all, I have a question to any parents out there with a teenage autistic child. My 15 year old daughter is currently in the transition from mainstream to a specialise school due to her social emotional needs. She leaves next Friday but for the last few weeks every other day she will refuse to go into school for no apparent reason. 

I understand she is anxious about leaving and starting a new school but I have to question is she being a typical teenager who doesn't want to go?  I have taken away her phone and stopped her from going to after school club as a punishment for not going to school but does this make a difference? Should I even be punishing her or just accept that her refusal of school goes with the territory. 

Would love to hear your opinions on this as the school aren't interested now because she is leaving shortly anyway  

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    It is very difficult in situations like this. You know your daughter better than anyone. There obviously have to be boundaries for behaviour and there's no reason that just because someone is autistic, there can't be a sanction. But sanctions have to be carefully used. Does she fully understand her behaviour. Is the anxiety too much? I get very anxious and it is the most horrible feeling so to then get a punishment as well could be difficult. Without knowing her it's impossible to fully comment. My only suggestion is could it be turned round so there is a reward for going to school rather than a sanction for not? I would say the emphasis at the moment needs to be on a positive transition to her new school rather than on her current school. Good luck. I hope she finds things easier at her new school.

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    Thanks, Binary.  That's the point I was trying to make, but it may not have been clear (my bad).

    Yes, sanctions can be used, but carefully - as you say.  You can't just, for instance, say 'You're grounded tonight' (depending again on the individual circumstance).  There may need to be more forewarning of sanctions.  And a reward-based system is good, as long as it isn't an obvious bribe.

Reply
  • over 5 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    Thanks, Binary.  That's the point I was trying to make, but it may not have been clear (my bad).

    Yes, sanctions can be used, but carefully - as you say.  You can't just, for instance, say 'You're grounded tonight' (depending again on the individual circumstance).  There may need to be more forewarning of sanctions.  And a reward-based system is good, as long as it isn't an obvious bribe.

Children
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