Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
my son has an ASD diagnosis and we are having some issues currently at school about PE and team sports. Every Monday he is coming home in tears following tag rugby and extremely distressed. He has always struggled with team sports, either getting very frustrated with himself or others as he wants to do well but cannot as he said others are not following instructions.
I have spoken to his teacher and she said she doesn’t want to take him out of the lesson as he needs to build some resilience with team sports and she doesn’t want to exclude him.
It’s heartbreaking to see him so upset.
Any advice gratefully received!
Thank you
He is ten and this is his last year at primary school
I’m not sure what is the best way forward to be honest. Do I say to the teacher that he needs to be excused from these sessions? I just don’t know what is going to help him.
Struggling with team sports is very common for autistic people; in fact a bunch of us grown-ups were just reminiscing about our dislike for school PE lessons on another thread (you'll need to scroll down a bit to find the bit about PE.)
There is nothing wrong with the idea of "building resilience" in principle, but the teacher needs to recognise that our core autistic traits cannot be trained out of us, nor reduced by "exposure therapy"; they are wired into our brains, not phobias. The fast responses needed for team play can be inherently limited by slow spacial and language processing, and the competitive social dynamics of team sports can be very bewildering and can lead to subtle or not so subtle forms of bullying if you're the one who always "lets the side down." The physical intimacy of contact sports can be impossible to deal with if they provoke sensory sensitivities, or because of extreme anxiety about being touched, or touching other people, in ways that might be unacceptable or lead to mockery. Anxiety about nakedness in changing rooms can also be a big problem for some of us.
Thank you for your reply!
He loves trampolining and goes every week he likes individual sport, where he can just go his own thing without the pressure or competition. I think he gets very overwhelmed and yes it probably may be very noisy and involve an element of touch. I think you are right in the fact that being made to participate is causing him a great deal of distress and alienating him more in front of his peers as he is really upset during the game!
Is it a sensory issue that upsets him? It would help to explain things in another way e.g
As part of x's autism he experiences sensory issues. This means the touch element of tag rugby causes my son overwhelming psychological distress. Putting him in these situations is like making a wheelchair user get out of his chair and try and stand up whilst taking part in this game. It is likely to cause long-lasting emotional trauma and isolated your son further rather than building up his resilient skills.
I would also want to discuss with the school the importance of developing a PE curriculum that included rather than excluded him. For example, I struggle with team sports and used to use the trampoline or weights area instead.