Dosent like school

My daughter has just turned 4 i had to attend pre school with her for 8 mths as she was very anxious and has seperation anxiety.  I started leaving her just before christmas it was going ok she would cry a bit when i left she dosent play happily with other children and needs guidance.  Last two weeks she has become extremely anxious about going to school crying and breaking down. She dosent like eating her lunch at school and says its noisy. Last thursday she became anxious and upset this went on for over 3hrs. Hv adviced to keep her home until Monday. A meeting has been set up with senco ect for acfew weeks time. She has already been refered for autistic referra. It makes me sad to see her so unhappy and anxious at school . Has anyone else experienced this and any ideas how i can help her . Many thanks.

  • Hi. My son (aged 4) struggles with noise at lunchtime, too. We purchased ear defenders and sent them into school so he just helps himself to them as and when he needs them - mainly lunchtimes! Since wearing them he eats more at school. 

    With regards to anxiety about going to school we also have it on a daily basis. Little things that have helped us have included turning up just as the other children have filtered in at the start of the day (no hanging around in the playground building anxiety -  just go straight in) and some half days (so he still has the routine of getting ready for school, but knows we will pick him up after lunch.) 

    You mentioned she has been turned down for a referral? We found that because our son was only 3 when we started noticing autistic traits, we were not taken seriously. However, a private diagnosis appeared to 'kick-start' pre school support (nursery plus) and put us on the 'official' route to diagnosis (which took another year, but that's another story!)

    I hope that helps a bit. It's not easy, I know - we still struggle on school mornings but try and keep it as calm as possible and state what is going to happen 'now' and 'then'.

    Also - keep a diary to take to your meeting. Record behaviours and see if you can spot patterns (eg, days, times, what happened before, who was there at the time, etc) 

    Hope that helps x

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