I'm running out of ideas.....!

Hi there.

Sorry to hear of your struggles. We've had similar experiences with my son about 18 months ago, when he was excluded 3 times in quick succession, each time for hitting or kicking a member of staff after he'd become upset.

By the 3rd time, we were so fed up and apalled at the way the school had treated him, we took advice from the NAS education support line and decided to appeal against the 3rd exclusion. NAS were fantastic and we really felt we had someone who understood and was on our side. We were offered legal support and help to prepare our case at tribunal - they couldn't have done more for us.

Fortunately the Education Department decided to concede defeat before the tribunal. We had appealed on the grounds that a) they hadn't put measures in place to deal with his needs, and b) they were exluding him because of his disability, which is unlawful. They agreed that more could be put in place and have since been much better with him - and us (on the whole, with a few exceptions!).

It really is worth fighting your corner and get support from NAS. We're in Scotland, so I don't know what the differences are, but I'm sure the school must be doing all they can before they can exclude. And if they're excluding for behaviour which is as a direct result of a disability, they'll be on shaky ground. Like you said, they wouldn't exclude a dyslexic child for continually failing a spelling test, or as in the case of my son's class, a child in a wheelchair who didn't do PE!

Best of luck!

Thanks Mhairi.

This need for children to conform in mainstream is at the root of most of the problems I think. What happens when your child can't physically or neurologically conform to what is termed as the norm? There also seems to be a belief in most mainstream schools that inclusion means conformity which is terribly misguided. We found that by forcing our grandson to conform he was actually being excluded not included because he didn't have a hope of understanding what was being asked of him and even less chance of carrying it out successfully. 9 times out of 10 he was pulled out of the activity with a good telling off.

By inclusion we had mistakenly assumed that it meant allowing our grandson to be around neuro typical children and for him to find coping strategies and also for him to gain acceptance from the other children while they are still young.

Bob, I remember a day when the teacher at school, determined that if our child was in mainstream then he must do what the other children did at all times and in the same way, thought it a good idea to place a hockey stick in his hands and play a match. Firstly he couldn't follow the rules and keep his stick down at the same time and he didn't have a clue when it came to the social niceties of the game. Consequently the inevitable happened, a child was bashed with his stick, and he was banished to a bench for the rest of the lesson in very cold conditions. As his full time one to one was being used to help with the lesson he was left unsupervised and managed to hit a few more children and break a piece of wood off the cricket pavilion! We were called in to answer for his behaviour later that day and expected to be shame faced about it!!!

After he was eventually shouted at by a teacher in class until he was reduced to tears we finally made the decision to move him to a special needs school. His school life has been transformed since that day last year. Now at 11 he is chatty, has friends for the first time in his life, is eager to get to school very early to see all his friends and teachers arrive and although expected to behave himself, at least has realistic goals and targets that he is capable of achieving.

Hi Bob and Blossom

I totally relate to you both. 

My son has High Functioning Autism and ADHD.  We have had a very similar experience to you Blossom in our mainstream school and are swaying as to whether home school or part home school as no matter how many specialists are involved and no matter how many strategies are put in place, they still have a default position and attitude of conform or we will be cross and desperate to find a way to punish or issue sanctions.  I keep saying it the preventation of the anxiety we need to focus on not cure. 

Can you lodge a formal legal complaint through the education system?  It is the only  thing that has made any headway for us and even now, the old attitude's are proving difficult to shake off.  I understood in Scotland at least, they cannot be excluded unless they are doing everything they can to support the child.  In your case they did not do everything they could have to support the child.  The forgot the basics and probably forgot to mention that on the report they complete regards the exclusion. Sadly, I think you have to get on their case.  Ask for copies of all relevant reports, NAS can give great advice on the Education helpline, find out where to complain to, write to your MP.  Kicking up a stir seems to be the only thing that stops them in their tracks as they start to be concerned for themselves then. 

There are some very good mainstream schools out there with a great attitude and approach, but sadly they seem to be in the minority.

Best wishes

Hello Bob

Welcome to the community. I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you've been facing.

Here's some website information about fixed term exclusions in England and Wales:

http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/education/primary-and-secondary-school/exclusion/fixed-term-exclusion-england-wales.aspx

and exclusions in Scotland:

http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/education/primary-and-secondary-school/exclusion/exclusion-scotland.aspx

I hope you will find that information useful, and if you need any further advice please contact the Education Rights Service:

http://www.autism.org.uk/Our-services/Advice-and-information-services/Education-rights-service.aspx

Good luck.

Sandra - mod

Hi Bob.

I'm also new to the forum. I felt for you so much as I read your post because it has shades of what has happend to us with our grandson to whom we are legal guardians. He's 11 and has high functioning ASD and attachment issues and has a full statement. We are also struggling to keep a place at CAHMS because they have removed autism from their remit ...(due to lack of funds no doubt). We haven't even been offered any therapy for our grandson, the psychologist, instead, prefers to talk to us without him.

You don't mention if your little lad is in a mainstream school or a special needs school. We struggled for years in mainstream and experienced similiar treatment by the teachers and one to ones as your son is experiencing. What we found is that there is a fundamental lack of understanding about ASD in mainstream school. It was brought home to me one day when his one to one said to us 'It's not his autism...he's just being naughty'. The idea that, somehow, he can turn his disability off and just be naughty is truly a flawed way to think about autism because as I explained to the staff at the school, all his thoughts, choices and actions are informed by his mind and that mind is autistic. They used this tactic alot in order to be able to find some form of punishment or sanction against him.

To ask your son to change his normal routine, even with something that, to them, might appear petty illustrates the same lack of fundamental understanding about autism that we have experienced. It shows a complete ignorance about why he clings to his routines so closely and the fact that, as with most children with ASD, he is unlikely to be able to prioritize the important over the unimportant because they all have the same priority in his mind. There is a belief that frightened and confused children look frightened and confused whereas as all of us with children on the spectrum will know that this isn't usually the case and it can frequently manifest itself in quite extreme behaviour.

Both this situation and the one where your son got into trouble on the equipment, where he could have been closely supervised by his one to one, could easily have been avoided with a bit of knowledge and foresight.

I would be the last person to advise anyone about tackling schools over ASD as the children are all so different but I can only say that, had this been our Grandson, I would have been asking the school how they intend to stop this happening again and also informing them that excluding ASD children from school will neither teach them anything or cure the condition.

I hope that, just knowing that there are other people out there who know what you are going through will help in some small way.

Regards

Blossom.