Published on 12, July, 2020
hi,
so ive just been diagnosed with Aspergers, and it's put a lot in perspective about my future. Children aren't really on my mind and never have been tbh and I'm still to young to think about such things (24)
However it has had me question if I should consider having a child?
my first question is do I put my child at risk or having a higher chance of being on the autistic spectrum ? I no my life has been very difficult being on the spectrum even as a high functioning aspie. I'm insure if it would be fair to knowingly do that to my child especially as they could have a more severe case of autism ?
Secondly, as an aspie parent could I cope with having a child and the challengers and disruption they bring?
would just like perspective from aspie parents, aspies who have opted out of children and neurotypical parents with children on the spectrum.
Hello Nadielou. It’s good that you are thinking ahead and trying to make an informed decision about whether to try to have children in the future. I think this is a really huge question because it covers so many different issues. If you have a partner naturally they would be part of the discussion and you would hopefully come to a joint decision when the time came to plan for a family. Planning for a family whether single or with a partner could include trying for your own babies, fostering, adoption, surrogacy so there are different ways to bring children into your home to be part of your family.
It is thought that Autism is genetic. So an autistic person conceiving could produce a child with autism. You could do an Internet search about statistics for this information.
I think the question of whether we pass our genes on to our children in any number of scenarios is very personal decision. The outcome can’t be known as to the type or severity. But you could ask yourself about what you have gained and enjoyed in life and whether you would or wouldn’t have preferred to have had those experiences. There are thousands of people with autism ranging from those who are successful ( and have careers/jobs, relationships and children )to those who need full time care.
Sadly, I do not have children of my own. But I have seen that all families have ups and downs and challenges in bringing up a family. As you will see on the forum some parents have a tough time and others not as tough. Again it’s a very personal decision. I always wanted a family of my own and it’s been very hard at times not to have had that. At other times I’m relieved that I didn’t, because like you my life has been difficult and not sure if I could have been a good parent. So what I think is very mixed up. It certainly isn’t a straightforward question or answer. I hope you will get other responses.