Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all haven't posted any new threads for a while now.I have to have energy and enthusiasm.both have been in short supply recently.
I was wondering about dreams? I dream like most,some happy some sad but some very exact and so precise that when I wake up I can remember the tiniest detail,it feels so very real.
I used to have what I suppose would be classed as a nitemare.I was very young and it involves me walking down a never ending corridor,quite cold and very loud and echoes every little sound but amplified. I am walking along the corridor not knowing why when the whole corridor starts to shrink! The more I go on the smaller it gets,my speed increases until I am going so fast everything blurs, eventually I get so squashed it is frightening,the speed is still increasing,the pressure has made me the size of a pin head,and still it continues,suddenly I wake up shaking and sweating.
Now one possible link could be that when I was very young my granny was ill and was taken to hospital.mum and her sisters visited her and I was sat in the corridor with an auntie and uncle,I remember the very strong smell of vending machine coffee! Very sweet and sickly,I remember the loud sound of footsteps as people walked to and from, I also remember them all crying as gran had passed on,I didn't know that then but saw them all comforting each other and crying. Children were shielded from such things back then,we weren't allowed at funerals,very little was said about anything,
I don't have that dream now but it was ever present when I was younger.
So not looking to validate this dream or connect it to my autism. Just me trying to jog that memory chip in my head. I find actually putting my thoughts in written form very therapeutic,I also remember written words more that spoken words or thoughts.
Dyslexia playing it's part? Different connection between visual and mechanical memory,even my letters have to be in capitals as each letter is then a single entity,a picture,not an ever changing letter that swirls one way or another to join before or after another letter.
thanks for reading,for those who do have a hug take this"Hug" and for those who don't take care and be happy.
I am still having continuations of old dreams.
Last night I had the latest part of a dream that started several years ago.
I was doing a college course of several classes and gradually I fell behind and i dropped each class. But I continued attending the college, still going to the library and the big choice of restaurants. But I was no longer doing the academic work or handing in assignments and missing most classes.
In last night's dream I was confronted by one of the lecturers handing me back my first assignment, for which I obtained a grade A. And demanding to know why I disappointed him and dropped out? And this lecturer looked exactly the same as a psychologist I saw at an appointment at a mental health clinic a few days ago!
Is that college course an actual history? Are you recalling things that happened or is this all imagination? When we sleep our brains attempt to make sense of things OR our unconcious mind (the bit that does automatic stuff like breathe, heart rate etc, that we are not aware of.) is trying to tell us something. If its history and happened perhaps you should try to do the course (or a different one again) . If its imagination then think about how your appointment at mental health went. Do you think that these appointments are working for you? Do you think you would like to make some changes? Do you like and trust the psychologist you saw? Dreams are disguised issues. You have some thinking to do. If it comes back blank and you feel you have no issues then ignore it. Could be something and nothing. If you dream repeats have another think about things, see if anything appears clearer to you. The grade A looks like some sort of hidden success. Perhaps a very nice surprise is coming your way.
If you apply for a student loan and get one, you dont have to repay it unless you earn £21k a year. After 30 years your liability is scrubbed. I am on a pension of less than £21k, wish me luck!
sounds like Sunderland is a miss then :-(
those students at the back moved to Leeds from Tilbury :-)
a 400 seat lecture is a nightmare in itself, perhaps on-line education is for you. The only thing is the meeting new friends bit will not be there. I looked at joining Rock Choir as I love indie music and can sing in tune a bit. Met some nice people there but it is a bit expensive, so did not stay long. Depends what your interests are really. My latest is Ladies football, my local side is top of their league and you always see a good game. Plus as its amateur you only pay £2:50 to get in.
have a think!
I took several open university modules years ago. Now that they've increased the fees I can't afford any more.
Sunderland, all these years ago was poor. Both academically and architecturally, more like a few technical college buildings collected together and called itself a university. Now I've heard they've built more. But still near bottom of the rankings and deservingly so.
Leeds has a proper campus and has better staff and students and is autism friendly. Although when I sat at the back of a 400 seat lecture hall, some of the students misbehaved, wriggling about as they played computer games on a gyroscope enabled smartphone.
You had a rough deal so you are allowed to rant.
don’t think you should have dreams about food that’s this bad ;-)
The college I taught at was very tiny compared with the one in Sunderland, it was a small campus and we did practical skills. I was in engineering electrical and taught electronics because of my BT background and of course key skills. Nearest town to the campus was Tilbury. The main industry being the huge container dock which took over from The Royals in London where Canary Wharf is now. Bit of a rough & ready type area Tilbury.
I was just looking at the open university, might have a go at getting a student loan.
Anyway I think we done dreams now, enjoy yours, its free entertainment of sorts. I seem to have stopped having the technicolour nightmares since I sorted my meds out. Looks like an untroubled night apart from the four wee breaks... oh dear price of getting old I reckon. See you in another thread soon!
My experiences were very different. All the students were adults (by age!).
The first one 1992/3 was in Sunderland, paid for by the employment agency. A case of "can't get a job, try further training". It was not well organised. There was a big problem with attendance, not by the students but by the lecturers who had other commitments and just didn't have time to teach this course. Often they sent an assistant who knew less than us students.
So there were a lot of complaints and we often taught ourselves from the supplied textbooks.
And it was the first time I saw a computer virus at work, as a screen froze and all the text fell to the bottom of the screen.
Also no exams. Just assessment by course work.
The second course was in my home town of Leeds. This was a different experience. Both staff and students were very international. Difficult to make friends because the modular based course had modules shared with other courses.
On my course we had 3 Chinese ladies who kept to themselves, 2 black African men who kept to themselves, I was the only native Yorkshireman.
One module had over 300 students, many had been there over three years and knew each other well.
So I found it socially very difficult to mix and make friends and my autism traits made matters worse.
The food/restaurant dreams are probably related to me trying to find a good place to eat. There were many choices but none were satisfactorily. The main restaurant had around 600 seats with a wide variety of food. And low prices. With even lower quality food. The fish and chips was tasteless, definitely not cod or haddock. One days chicken Kiev was sold as garlic chicken slices the next day.
The search dreams for the library is probably memories of the large campus and the varied architecture in the place.
Rant over.
For 7 years I was a Tutor in a college. I saw some students do some very stupid things. If I had my way at least 60% of students would not have been there. Most of these 60% were unemployable. They were at college for these main reasons. Their Parents were both in full time employment and knowing the little darlings well the parents did not want them ‘up to all sorts’ with their mates in the house. Reason 2 the kid was lazy and colud not or would not get a job. Send him to college and he gets £30 a week EMA (think they scrapped this and brought it back later with different rules) anyway they were only there for the pocket money. Some were very sick. I had a student whose lips were always purple. He had circulation problems. His mum and dad sent him to college so someone was keeping an eye on him. Tutors were unpaid baby sitters. I got a call from the caretaker. Your guy is riding on top of the lift car. Yep thats where we found him. One guy went to the girls college next door and exposed himself in the cafeteria.
By now you are asking yourself “interesting BUT why is he telling me all this?”
Just because, stretch off the surface and underneath a college can be a very scary place. It is full of people there for all the wrong reason and when they dont study (or do the minimum) they busy causing trouble. SO if you have nightmares about college it don’t surprise me, especially if you were a student that was trying hard and generally there to learn something. I think your results are good. Two courses, two successes, well done! You say you did not make many friends, well, most of my students I would not of approved of as friends for my own kids so if you did not make many friends think of it as you had a lucky escape
college may not be for you, why not have a look at on line training courses. There are government on-line sponsored level 2 courses which are free to you. The only thing is to make sre you meet deadlines for work to be returned or they may send you a bill. I have done two now on social care and they are okay, you learn stuff and make your CV more interesting.
I like chicken as well, let me know if you find it! :-)
The actual courses that these dreams are based on are real. I did one year courses at these institutions. One in 1992/3 and more recently 2012/13.
Academically the possible outcomes of these courses were:
Fail.
Pass with lower qualification
Standard pass
Pass with merit
Pass with distinction.
On the 1992 course I obtained a bog standard pass.
On the 2012 course I got a pass with merit.
Both results were slightly disappointing.
The real failure was the social aspect. I found it very hard to fit in or make any friends.
The link to the psychologist seems to be that he suggested I go on a health and fitness course, saying that physical health can help improve mental health. I declined because I am currently on a health and fitness course organised through an employment agency which suggested that physical health can make me more employable.
As for the past academic courses. Other dreams have me on long walks through the campus trying to find the library. At other times I am lost in the massive library trying to find books. Or I am in a large canteen/restaurant with multiple levels and many outlets based on type of food and I can't find a roast chicken dinner.