Please help

Would a visual calendar work for you? There are lots of pintrest type examples of images and then you just need a laminator and some bluetac.

That you CAN console him - even if it takes 20 minutes - is a good thing. You and he must have a great relationship.

In terms of moving alot - you will have routines/rituals that you do for getting up, getting dresses, mealtimes, bedtimes, leaving the house etc. Those routines need to be protected. We travel quite long distances sometimes but whenever we arrive somewhere new we pick up the "normal" routine in the new place. We also travel with our "mobile den kit" i.e. one stretchy (travel) washing line, sheet and bulldog clips. It's not uncommon for her to eat her food in the den or nap there. It's about control really.

Before our diagnosis we found things like toddlercalm useful - as a HV you've probably heard of it already but the CRUCIAL framework still works for us most of the time.

Sensory stuff makes L so happy - sand trays are non-threatening for her letter formation and egg-ohs make writing easier, squishy play soaps (from lush actually) are great in the bath as she actually gets clean and playing with spices and food in the kitchen means she cooks (and eats) with me quite well.

Oh, those massage things they have in sensory play - very useful at the doctors/dentist and makes those journeys vaguely bareable... only vaguely but that is a vast improvement on 'hell on earth'. 

Thanks again, I had heard of that scheme in my old job but had completely forgotten about it so thanks. Yes this is what I mean about being 'in' it, I am aware of all the sensory stuff but with my own son I sometimes don't think until it's too late. 

Hi Jemima,

Have you come across the early birds scheme? www.autism.org.uk/earlybird There is also an early birds plus for older children.

Some children with auitsm can qualify for disability benefits. I have no idea if your son would qualify but those benefits can be used for extra costs like the social stories subscription.

I think you need to look up some stuff on "sensory issues" that children with autism sometimes have. The Shack ride is likely to have been a really bad place for him to go into. He may also have been stressed by the whole fun fair situation with so many people and lights and sounds and he may have been well wound up before he went on that ride.

Thank you both for replying. alice those are helpful tips and I will certainly embrace the 'safe place' idea. recombinantsock, in answer to your question, I am a health visitor of three years so I know a little bit about Autism but to be directly responsible for someone with these needs is completely different isn't it? On Saturday, my sisters and I took our five children to a local easter fair. The five kids went into a 'shack' ride with twisting and moving apparatus in. I immediately regretted lettinghim go in and within a minute I could hear my sons terrified screams. I couldn't get in the door easily as they were too small, but once I had shoved my way in calling to him all the time I'm coming, he was beyond consoling. I got him out and it took me and my sister about 20 minutes to get him out that state. As a mother it was extremely difficult and painful to see. 

He's started to settle at my parents now and the easter bunny yesterday helped but I know when we move again to our own place it's going to upset him again. I will try that safe place and I know lots of preparation will help. What else can I do to help him deal with the changes? I looked at social stories but the only site I could find cost £50 for an annual membership. Thanks again for your help.

Hi Jemima,

I am really sorry to hear about the situation that you have all been dumped into. For the long term, it is really useful that you need to understand all there is to know about autism. What it means for him, what problems it gives him, what you can do about it etc.

What do you know so far? What does his diagnosis mean to you?

I am really new to this too - my daughter is 5 - so my thoughts are just on th basis of what works for us...

L hates change but sometimes it inevitable. I am her security so I keep her close all the time. She sleeps with me at night, we play the "holding hand game" in the morning (where everything you do holding hands) and we play her games her way - there is a book called "love bombing" which is very helpful.

It's, for us, about making her feel secure and safe and then the behaviour improves from there as she is no longer needing to exert control.

The other thing, particularly in a new space, is to make a den (from sheets and stuff) or a tent in the corner of a room. A space of their own creation again about control. And the same with food.

All children need to sleep, eat and play well to feel better it's just an extra challenge for us to gt those needs met.

Good luck (as I said this is just what works for us) - I hope you get a chance to process your emotions soon too.