Please help

we haven't had a good we. Monday my 6yo son was diagnosed as being on the spectrum and even though it was expected, I'm a health visit and we'd had lots of input from Educational psychologist and school, the news still came with a bang. Also this week me and my partner of 3 years have split up and we are temporarily with my parents until we find somewhere to live. I knew this would be tough on my little boy who already struggles with change but for two days he has been inconsolabel, meltdowns and disobedienc. He's extremely sensitive and it's heartbreaking for me to see him like this. I'm trying to be understanding and give lots of cuddles, letting him talk about his feelings etc but can anyone give me any advice on how to help him?? Im still trying to get the diagnosis under my belt too.

Parents
  • Would a visual calendar work for you? There are lots of pintrest type examples of images and then you just need a laminator and some bluetac.

    That you CAN console him - even if it takes 20 minutes - is a good thing. You and he must have a great relationship.

    In terms of moving alot - you will have routines/rituals that you do for getting up, getting dresses, mealtimes, bedtimes, leaving the house etc. Those routines need to be protected. We travel quite long distances sometimes but whenever we arrive somewhere new we pick up the "normal" routine in the new place. We also travel with our "mobile den kit" i.e. one stretchy (travel) washing line, sheet and bulldog clips. It's not uncommon for her to eat her food in the den or nap there. It's about control really.

    Before our diagnosis we found things like toddlercalm useful - as a HV you've probably heard of it already but the CRUCIAL framework still works for us most of the time.

    Sensory stuff makes L so happy - sand trays are non-threatening for her letter formation and egg-ohs make writing easier, squishy play soaps (from lush actually) are great in the bath as she actually gets clean and playing with spices and food in the kitchen means she cooks (and eats) with me quite well.

    Oh, those massage things they have in sensory play - very useful at the doctors/dentist and makes those journeys vaguely bareable... only vaguely but that is a vast improvement on 'hell on earth'. 

Reply
  • Would a visual calendar work for you? There are lots of pintrest type examples of images and then you just need a laminator and some bluetac.

    That you CAN console him - even if it takes 20 minutes - is a good thing. You and he must have a great relationship.

    In terms of moving alot - you will have routines/rituals that you do for getting up, getting dresses, mealtimes, bedtimes, leaving the house etc. Those routines need to be protected. We travel quite long distances sometimes but whenever we arrive somewhere new we pick up the "normal" routine in the new place. We also travel with our "mobile den kit" i.e. one stretchy (travel) washing line, sheet and bulldog clips. It's not uncommon for her to eat her food in the den or nap there. It's about control really.

    Before our diagnosis we found things like toddlercalm useful - as a HV you've probably heard of it already but the CRUCIAL framework still works for us most of the time.

    Sensory stuff makes L so happy - sand trays are non-threatening for her letter formation and egg-ohs make writing easier, squishy play soaps (from lush actually) are great in the bath as she actually gets clean and playing with spices and food in the kitchen means she cooks (and eats) with me quite well.

    Oh, those massage things they have in sensory play - very useful at the doctors/dentist and makes those journeys vaguely bareable... only vaguely but that is a vast improvement on 'hell on earth'. 

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