No matter what I do or where I go I am always discriminated. By family, friends, organsations that are there to help me. i am always ignored and put down and have no friends and no one to turn to. I dont know what to do please help.
Why have no one replied to this?!?!
I am so sorry LilySnape! I am new on here. Are you still here? I want to listen! I want to help!!!
I cannot understand either, how could this not have been spotted, if not by one of us then by NAS,
totally out of order, Lilysnape please come back and talk, there are plenty of kind people here that really do understand, we have all suffered in one way or another. Never feel you are alone or that others won’t listen.
I really cannot see how your post got missed, It hurts me to think that nobody saw this and reacted , 36 views,
Please come back and talk, you are a good person who just isn’t understood,
Just wanted to say I remember reading your essay, the one that got you an A. It was about you being autistic as a youngster, it was amazing, so descriptive and it took me along in your journey with autism,
you have a real talent for writing and I would love to read more if you ever feel kind enough to share any.
take care and please talk.b
Just found your story lilysnape, I hope you don’t mind me posting it here, I found it so good and very well written.
I think others would like to read it as well.
When I was taking National 5 English last year this is the essay I did for my personal which is about my experience of being a teenager with autism and I got an A for it.
I want to be alone. You might see me walking quickly along the school corridor with my head down, sitting eating my lunch in the chatter and clatter of the canteen, or in my bedroom reading. In all these places I am by myself. Don’t feel sorry for me – this is when I feel happiest. Why should people think that because you are on your own you feel lonely?
My favourite place to be is my bedroom, preferably with the door shut. When I get to my room after school I normally sit and try and relax. Most of the time I feel calm and happy just being by myself in my room. My favourite thing about my bedroom is my bed. My bed is like a best friend, always there for me at the end of every day. Its covers are like warm arms giving me a comforting hug. I feel like I could lie in it all the time as it is very peaceful and quiet. I feel like I can shut the world out. Outside I can hear children playing and cars going past but they don’t have anything to do with me, they belong to another world, the loud crowded world of hurrying humans, just like bees buzzing against my window.
Even when I’m not in my room, I still like to be alone. For example when I’m baking I think that it is easier to bake on my own because when someone is helping me, they are mostly getting in the way. You sometimes feel that you are tripping over them trying to reach something that you want and it eventually just gets too crowded to move. If you are doing things with two people you might not think things through – recently my little sister put plastic scales in the microwave to melt chocolate and before I could stop her she had burnt a hole through the scales. Another problem with working in a group is you normally get one or more people telling you what to do and you might not want to do it that way, you might have a better way of doing it. However it’s always the people who talk the loudest who get their ideas noticed not the shy girl in the corner shrugging her shoulders.
Worst of all, are places where you are surrounded by more people than you can count. During school every 45 minutes is interrupted by the loud drilling noise of the bell, then hundreds of pupils crash out of the classroom and swarm into the hall. It can often be so busy that everyone feels crammed in tight against each other. I feel nervous when this happens in case someone bumps into me or pushes past me. I really don’t like being around a lot of people in the corridor because they are not paying attention, they are either gossiping to a group of friends or scrolling through texts on their phone. They can also stop suddenly in front of me as if they are in shock, stopping me in my tracks.
Don’t think I don’t like people. I don’t mind just sitting and listening to everyone’s conversations in the dining hall – sometimes I even smile. If someone asks me a question I won’t ignore them. Sometimes at home you might even describe me as chatty. What I don’t like is being forced to talk to people. Unfortunately this happens a lot at school. The days of sitting in rows silently writing are long gone and now we seem to be expected to do a lot of group work. That’s great if you are confident, chatty and outgoing but if your shy, silent and introverted like me you’d rather be covered in spiders from head to toe.
Worst of all is walking into a room and being expected to have a conversation with whoever you find there. When someone asks me a question my brain freezes and goes numb and I can’t remember what the question was. When I do answer the question sometimes I have to say it more than once because the person can’t hear me as I am speaking too quietly. I get confused when there are two conversations going on at once because the two stories can get mixed together. Even five minutes can seem like an hour. I end up exhausted and try and sneak out of the door.
So if you see me walking along the school corridor, sitting eating my lunch, or in my bedroom reading, don’t feel you have to come and speak to me. I might be alone but I’m not feeling lonely.
I clearly remember feeling like this at school, very well written and evocative LilySnape.
Very well written.
Reminds me both of school and my life now.
Shame that no-one noticed this and replied earlier!