Couple of questions

Hi everyone I haven't actually been diagnosed and I'm going to see my gp soon after reading about autism it sounds an awful lot like me. 

Background on me: I'm 20 years old have a strong interest /hobby in computers currently unemployed and seeking a job. My sister was diagnosed with aspergers last year which makes me wonder if I have it too.

Anyways, do people with autism struggle to explain things well to others because it's something that has been pointed out to me in the past that I am not very good at. 

When I meet new people it usually takes me a couple of times meeting them to become comfortable with talking to them is this something that is a common trait with autism? 

I am usually described as shy and quiet but this seems to be a common trend amungst people with autism, I also often take jokes literally and sometimes they offend me or make me question if the person really feels like that towards me.

Another question is when there is a loss of a releationship between a friend or Significant other I find it difficult letting go of the relationships is this something associated with autism?

I often find myself trying to stick to areas that I am familiar with and this limits me when I am looking for a job I find it extremely difficult and nerve wrecking when going to interviews in a unfamiliar place with people I don't know or haven't met and I've read here that other people feel that way too.

The last year I had in college I often found myself being alone and although I prefer the company of others I find it difficult to build new relationships with people so I often didn't bother trying to make new friends.

Aplogies for waffling on, thanks for taking your time reading this and I hope this is in the right section.

David.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    For someone with dyslexia that is a very clear and correctly spelt summary! Perhaps you are in the habit of apologising more than you need?

    A problem you might get with a diagnosis is that you will then know that your communication skills are not so good but what good will the diagnosis do? This is the quandary I'm in at the moment. The diagnosis confirms that one has a communication problem and that may not be easy to resolve.

    A lot of this turns on how much of a problem your anxieties are. I think you will have to be clear about this if you go to a GP - a lot of people feel slight twinges of anxiety and that is normal - if the anxiety makes you break out in a sweat and it makes you want to get outside away from people then that needs help. If it stops you from getting to an interview then that is a real problem. It sounds as though you will benefit from some help but you have to persuade your GP of that.

  • Hi, recombinantsocks


    The issues that I face are mainly social ones, predominantly around meeting new people and engaging with them. I often feel anxious in situations where I just shouldn't like asking a customer assistant a question, I find myself preparing what I'm going to say in my head. This spans over several things such as interviews and general job hunting because of my social skills and my lack of belief in them if a job description lists 'Strong communication skills' It will either put me off dramatically or entirely. I'll admit that it could be other things wrong such as generalised anxiety.

    The reasons I know its in social situations is when I went for my driving test I was not nervous the only nervous part for me was meeting my examiner and my driving instructor for the first time, the rest I found enjoyable. 

    Another example of this is if I am out with my friends and they know someone else and they end up sitting with us then I will not initate a conversation with them. I would much rather sit in silence. I will often mention things that are completely unreleated to the conversation that we are having or simply not participate at all. 

    Interviews are a nightmare I have a huge build up of anxiety days before I go to them and that's if I actually get there in the first place. If I manage to get myself in an interview, then I really struggle to sell myself to somebody I would much prefer a practical assessment of my skills rather than a social one. Eye contact is something I find uncomfortable just talking to my parents I refrain from making eye contact with them or my friends. If I don't go to them well it leads me to feeling depressed about job hunting and generally life. 

    Other behaviours I have are: 

    • I have connections with meaningless objects, the worst one I can think of is a peice of paper that has nothing on but I have kept it for a couple of years therefor I don't want to throw it out. I have purposely kept broken items for no expainable reason.
    • I couldn't tie my shoe laces till year 9 (14 years old) I still am bad at it or ride a bike until I was 12 years old, my hand writing when I was younger was awful and unreadable.
    • If something happens to me particuarly bad I will dwell on it for days or even weeks at a time and will analayze fine details of it and what went wrong.
    • After some conversations with people I will go over what I send and if I think what I said was weird/strange even though its perfectly normal. I did this the other day when I said hello to my friend.
    • I don't particuarly have a routine as such but if I make a mental note of me wanting to go out and don't do it I will get extremely fustrated and annoyed.
    • I generally notice sounds and patterns quite quickly and I often point them out but nobody can hear it or see it.

    The reason I would like a diagnosis or atleast seek one is closure, I'm aware I have these issues and when I started reading about autism it made me feel comfortable almost like I understand why I am like this. 

    I am going to aplogize in advance, if there are any spelling errors as I am dyslexic I do try my best to correct these.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi David,

    Those scores suggest that you do indeed have traits but it is entirely feasible for someone with those scores to have a perfectly satisfactory life. Equally someone with those scores may have a miserable life. The difference depends on the environment we find ourselves in and the upbringing one has had.

    Your original post does not really give much idea about the issues you think that you face or how you think a diagnosis would help you overcome those issues. Perhaps you could elaborate on why you think a diagnosis might be useful for you?

  • I scored 34 on the Empathy quotient and 32 on the Autism quotient 14/20 on the facial expressions, thanks for sharing the links.

  • I scored 34 on the Empathy quotient and 32 on the Autism quotient 14/20 on the facial expressions, thanks for sharing the links.

  • Hi Gramit108

    Thank you for the links. I just scored 40 on the aq test and 12 on the empathy quotient. I couldn't do the facial expressions test at all, just too hard.

    This is useful information for me in moving forward, as is your advice on how to approach a GP.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I agree with the others' advice above with a couple of variations

    Breaking up a relationship is hard for anyone - not just autistic people. Inability to get into relationships in the first place is a more common problem for people on the spectrum.

    Asperger's is commonly genetic so the fact that your sister has been diagnosed makes it more likely that you may be affected - but note that this suggests a possibility rather than anything more certain. Can you see eccentric traits in your parents too?

    When you go to your GP you have to be clear about two separate things

    1) What traits you think you have. Difficulty explaining things fits in here as would an unhealthy interest in one thing e.g. collecting milk bottles. Being interested in computers does not qualify but being able to list every version of the Atari console might suggest an autistic tendency!

    2) What problems this gives you. So, do you have any mental health issues (e.g. anxiety, depression etc etc) or do you think that this gets you into arguments, and worse, at work or perhaps you think this is stopping you from getting a job?

    If you have some traits but are managing fine then they may not feel the need to intervene with any help - but it depends what you think you need help with.

  • Hi DavidLC. It's a good idea to see your GP because it is the mature thing to do when you feel you might have a problem. I guess there are probably people who sweep things under the carpet rather than trying to confront their difficulties but this simply stores up more trouble for future. I just hope your GP is enlightened enough to look at your enquiry seriously and sensitively. Not all GP's are equal.