Help and advise

I found this web page that might help understand what is going on scotland.shelter.org.uk/.../antisocial_behaviour_orders

Scottish law is different to England's law but it still seems that a court order is needed before the ASBO is issued. I wonder if the letter is an actual order or if it is warning about an order?

In either case the recipient of the letter should talk to whoever issued the letter to try and work out what can be done to improve the situation. Citizens advice bureau could be consulted as soon as possible.

If the complainant is a drunk then all incidents and abuse should be recorded systematically as this may be useful if the dispute escalates.

No definitely not. This is their 1st letter and have not been to court. ThIs guy isn't autistic himself either as he and his family are known by them. The only guy being menacing is the neighbour. On a number of occasions he has gone round knocking on their during the night, drunk, when everyone was asleep kicking off about noise. Noise that want bein made by them at that time of night.  Nor did  they hear any such noise?  

When I visit,  I stay at his house and yes the tantrums they have seem over the top to myself. That's during the day. After 10pm they are all usually sleeping.  In fact the kids want mum and dad to go to bed too by 9pm.

It does seem things are being blown up to what they're not.

wizzboy said:

The situation is stressing the family to boiling point. 

It is quite possible that the rude neighbour is also stressed to boiling point. It is possible he has issues with his behaviour - he could even be autistic himself!

The way forward is to get an independent third party involved to mediate and pull both sides away from the brink of war.

It did occur to me that the ASBO won't have come without some warning - letters must have been sent, a court hearing must have been held etc etc. It is quite conceivable that your brother-in-law & partner have chaotic lives where such correspondence gets ignored until it is too late. It is quite likely (given the number of autistic children) that one or both parents are also on the spectrum. Does that sound like their family life?

Thanks for the reply.  The thing is,  this guy has family next door to him,  and during the summer has noisy and quite roudy party's until the early hours.  Which could have been a problem but my brother-in-law didn't mind to much. And never complained. It was only until this guy moved next door to him that he started to be concerned about noise. Their previous neighbours were understanding like are the other neighbours. The situation is stressing the family to boiling point. 

The first thing that people need to do in this situation is to try and see things from both points of view. Some autistic people have their lives made miserable by noisy neighbours and this rude person may feel that he has had this family of bad neighbours imposed on him. There are several threads on this forum about exactly that situation.

Using the language that he has used is offensive and liable to cause a breach of the peace. He could be cautioned or worse for being abusive like that.

Some form of mediation is called for and it may be that the police could be called on to intervene and introduce both sides to counselling or abritration services that can improve the situation. They have to deal with this sort of thing all of the time and are likely to be helpful if they are aware that the children (and presumably the parents) have autism. If the Police are called to help rather calling the police to complain then they are likely to get help rather than getting into more trouble.

In the longer term it may be preferable for them to find a house where they are some distance from neighbours.