Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all :)
You may have seen a topic i prerviously posted very recently about my boys. Im a mom of 3. I have got my one boy through alot of the process to the point they have said its Autism and ADHD but it hasnt been put on paper as yet as hes yet to see a phsycotherapist and my other son hasnt even got to first screening yet. This in mind, I have so many questions, so please forgive me as no matter what i read it seems so vague. My main question being if this is the case, does my nearly 6 year old son know? is he aware of his autism and ADHD? If not when do they become aware of it? do you tell them or do you not say anything at all ( i wouldnt until it was on paper anyway). Also my one son has alot of hitting, bitting to others and himself, he uses baby talk and grunts, these things sometimes make me wonder is all this behaviour completely his condition OR is some of it just an average nearly 6 year olds behaviour? Im very confused. I know alot of the things he does isnt that of someone his age but say like when hes boundary pushing is that the nearly six year old or is it part of the condition or both? the reason i ask this as im so worried about time out if its something that cant be helped, in fact should i be time outing anyway? Im in a place where im questioning everything he does (not to him like i just think is this his way of saying i cant cope or is it him just being a head strong nearly 6 year old?) , im questioning everything we do like should i time out if his behaviour is unacceptable (but then it might not be his fault and so i dont want him to feel misunderstood). I often wonder if he knows as im scared that he might feel alone or isolated and i really dont want that. I mean he seems happy enough until hes in one of his outbursts but i am a worrier and the thought of them feeling misunderstood for even a second turns my stomach. If theres anyone out there with autism / ADHD or both a point of view and advice from you would be greatly appreciated as i just want to understand and do the best for my boys. My boys havent changed overnight and i would like to think that i know them every inch of the way however if theres anything i can do to understand the way they see the world then that can only benefit them surely? thank you for reading my post, and thank you in advance to anyone that can contribute, it means alot. Best Wishes, Lisa :)
Hiya :)
Yeah most schools are like it i think thats safe to say... However it doesnt mean that it should be accepted. It is good that you have a place within the school you can go but you should feel comfortable to get help wherever you are in the school not just in one part. I know what you mean people in their teens do see it as a 'weakness' but I dont see why as we all need help, we are not perfect no one is there is at least one thing a person cannot do that someone else can, so why it is seen as a weakness is beyond me however i totally get what you mean. OMG what horrid teachers you have!! I wouldnt of been able to bite my tongue if i am honest, I wouldve asked if he would like to repeat that statement in front of the school governors! See now I am not telling you to do the following as it would be something that maybe once talking to your mom that she may want to do but it seems to me you are getting treated really badly not just in the sense of not accomadating your ASD but also just in general as a person, no way would that 'sir' speak to another person on the street like that so he needs an attitude check. IF it was me, I would submot a written letter dated and copied (keep a copy for yourself again signed and dated) ask for a WRITTEN reply within 28 days IF things get no better then you go above.. to the school governors (they pretty much tell the heads what to do) again you need to put your complaint in writing and keep a copy for yourself and atatch a copy of the letter you previously sent to the head along with a copy of the response you recieved.. you will generally find things get sorted at this level, however if not you will have to take it above them which is something like the education secretary or something like that? You may also find it of help to contact your SEN department at the local council (not the one you see at school) and speak to the manager who may also ask for your complaint in writing. However if your mom went into school and asked (or phoned up) and asked for a copy of the schools complaint proceedures it should tell you in full the complaints proceedure that needs to be followed, but always keep copies of everything sent and recieved! Like i said, it might be something for your mom to look into if they are being so horrid to you. As a parent i find it very hard to hear how you are being treated and it saddens me that people can be so rude. Dont let it get you down though, you are a fab person!! Have you spoke to your mom about how you feel and how you have been treated? if not i really think you should. Awww you are doing really well considering what theyre putting you through! I really hope you manage to get something sorted :)