Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all :)
You may have seen a topic i prerviously posted very recently about my boys. Im a mom of 3. I have got my one boy through alot of the process to the point they have said its Autism and ADHD but it hasnt been put on paper as yet as hes yet to see a phsycotherapist and my other son hasnt even got to first screening yet. This in mind, I have so many questions, so please forgive me as no matter what i read it seems so vague. My main question being if this is the case, does my nearly 6 year old son know? is he aware of his autism and ADHD? If not when do they become aware of it? do you tell them or do you not say anything at all ( i wouldnt until it was on paper anyway). Also my one son has alot of hitting, bitting to others and himself, he uses baby talk and grunts, these things sometimes make me wonder is all this behaviour completely his condition OR is some of it just an average nearly 6 year olds behaviour? Im very confused. I know alot of the things he does isnt that of someone his age but say like when hes boundary pushing is that the nearly six year old or is it part of the condition or both? the reason i ask this as im so worried about time out if its something that cant be helped, in fact should i be time outing anyway? Im in a place where im questioning everything he does (not to him like i just think is this his way of saying i cant cope or is it him just being a head strong nearly 6 year old?) , im questioning everything we do like should i time out if his behaviour is unacceptable (but then it might not be his fault and so i dont want him to feel misunderstood). I often wonder if he knows as im scared that he might feel alone or isolated and i really dont want that. I mean he seems happy enough until hes in one of his outbursts but i am a worrier and the thought of them feeling misunderstood for even a second turns my stomach. If theres anyone out there with autism / ADHD or both a point of view and advice from you would be greatly appreciated as i just want to understand and do the best for my boys. My boys havent changed overnight and i would like to think that i know them every inch of the way however if theres anything i can do to understand the way they see the world then that can only benefit them surely? thank you for reading my post, and thank you in advance to anyone that can contribute, it means alot. Best Wishes, Lisa :)
The glittery ones are SO COOL in the dark! They give off thousands of tiny lights! Only reason I got a lava lamp over a glitter lamp was because I started chasing all the little lights from the glitter one on display and got very hyper. xD
I was recently donated some fur coats to use in my textiles lesson and became very attatched to the soft texture, its like having one of my cats shrunk down in my pocket as a substitute until I can go home and hug fasto (his name is Smokey but he's the soppiest fattest cat ever xD), so mum got me a rabbit foot keyring and a mink tail (sourced ethically, turns out after hundreds were released from a fur farm farmers around there have permission to shoot mink, waste not want not) which I have on a necklace to play with.
I reckon the reason it was so bad this time was because its the first time since the end of the last school year (June) that it's happened to me, thanks to the diagnosis and most of the teachers respecting it. It probably caught me unaware which is why it sprialled out of control slightly, usually before I got diagnosed it was expected but now it shouldn't be. Meh, I'll set the looney teacher on her once she's recovered. xD
For me the shaking is usually a sort of aftermath of my rants, which takes away most of the stress, so its probably the anxiety letting itself known.
It is terrifying trying to find out how other people feel and why, I was given a list of things to look out for in normal people by a teacher from the SEN department (I think she's more of the finances, not an actual caring one if you know what I mean) and it said something along the lines of:
'People often express themselves using their facial features, its important to recognise these, however, you must remember that many people will have different facial expressions for different emotions, and some may display no emotions at all.'
.....so basically, there's general rules to follow, that don't apply to the majority of people, and some don't express any emotion at all? Very helpful....not XD I'll stick to my current system of asking at points 'You ok?' and judging the responses I get.
All in all, there's no way anyone can ever really understand the way anyone else feels, but you can use comparisons. When I'm at my worst and I feel terrified lost and confused, its like standing on the white lines in the middle of the motorway, you can't go forward, you can't go back, and you can't stay where you are, but you're so scared of trying to move past all the fast moving traffic.
I've found that by forcing my mum to use metaphors like that I can pick out the emotions behind it and compare them to mine, so while I may be on a motorway, at her worst she may feel like she's in a maze without a map and simply gets annoyed and frustrated.
Plus you learn more about the persons feelings simply by how they say it, like if I'm stressed I may yell, raise my voice or wave my arms about while I speak while my mum may be relatively laid back and use long sweeping gestures to prove a point. :)
I think the only time I've ever seriously had a moment like Brad's was when I found a large (I'm talking 5 cms in diametre legs and all here) spider on my pillow when I was young. I screamed, flew to the other side of the bed and started crying hysterically (which rarely happens at all, once a year at most). Even when it was dead (courtesy of mum and her shoe) I was still curled up in a corner having trouble breathing. Now I tend to have a book nearby for bug squishing in general. I don't think this is what my old english teacher meant about taking a good thick book to bed with me though...