Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all :)
You may have seen a topic i prerviously posted very recently about my boys. Im a mom of 3. I have got my one boy through alot of the process to the point they have said its Autism and ADHD but it hasnt been put on paper as yet as hes yet to see a phsycotherapist and my other son hasnt even got to first screening yet. This in mind, I have so many questions, so please forgive me as no matter what i read it seems so vague. My main question being if this is the case, does my nearly 6 year old son know? is he aware of his autism and ADHD? If not when do they become aware of it? do you tell them or do you not say anything at all ( i wouldnt until it was on paper anyway). Also my one son has alot of hitting, bitting to others and himself, he uses baby talk and grunts, these things sometimes make me wonder is all this behaviour completely his condition OR is some of it just an average nearly 6 year olds behaviour? Im very confused. I know alot of the things he does isnt that of someone his age but say like when hes boundary pushing is that the nearly six year old or is it part of the condition or both? the reason i ask this as im so worried about time out if its something that cant be helped, in fact should i be time outing anyway? Im in a place where im questioning everything he does (not to him like i just think is this his way of saying i cant cope or is it him just being a head strong nearly 6 year old?) , im questioning everything we do like should i time out if his behaviour is unacceptable (but then it might not be his fault and so i dont want him to feel misunderstood). I often wonder if he knows as im scared that he might feel alone or isolated and i really dont want that. I mean he seems happy enough until hes in one of his outbursts but i am a worrier and the thought of them feeling misunderstood for even a second turns my stomach. If theres anyone out there with autism / ADHD or both a point of view and advice from you would be greatly appreciated as i just want to understand and do the best for my boys. My boys havent changed overnight and i would like to think that i know them every inch of the way however if theres anything i can do to understand the way they see the world then that can only benefit them surely? thank you for reading my post, and thank you in advance to anyone that can contribute, it means alot. Best Wishes, Lisa :)
Hiya :)
You know the way you described yourself at school is exactly how Brad is! Heres what the support teacher said to me.. ive done an observation on him today, hes a lovely lad and has no behaviour issues at all, hes just out of the room alot.. I looked at her confused and she said... well i mean hes daydreaming all day long, he joins us in the room for a few minutes then goes into daydream land again, or he gets easily distracted. So what youve said seems to fit Brad soooo well. I did find something on google which shows what certain visions look like.. I did find one that he said it was similar to but i cant remember what it was called now.. Its like a moving deep blue and purple. He hears alot of small noises and gets distracted by them, but then i just thought most people could as i constantly hear electric and so can my mom so we can hear that sound your on about too :) say if im at the bottom of the stairs and the tv is on mute upstairs i can tell that its on purely by hearing the electric, and Brad is like this too. Thats good that you take what your mom says on board so well, unfortunately we are not making much progress there but will continue, like you say, they will realise unwanted behaviour in time :) Ah you will have to thank Elliott too for being so helpful showing us the best presents for Callum its very kind of him to help!! We have made some progress with the school since we spoke last and they can now see some of the worries we have as parents, and they do have best intentions at heart. It really is hard to explain when people ask what makes him tick (its normally about Callum as he is extreme) I say well he doesnt do well with large groups, or too much hype or noise, but they expect some kind of indepth answer, they seem quite shocked when i just say thats just Callums way, i dont know the reason its is just Callum :) but acknowledgement on their part is a massive step so im a lot more positive that we are all walking together in the right direction. Thank you so much for all this help you are a star, and the fact that you and Elliott are helping us to try to understand our little boys is amazing. I hope you are having a brilliant weekend! Best Wishes, Lisa.