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Explain This?

AutisticBeaut2025

Hello! 

How come you get people who are aware that they are autistic and feel relieved when they finally get diagnosed then on the other end of the line you get people who are totally unaware that they are yet neurotypical people can see that they are but they can't? If they were to find out that they were then then they may have a completely different reaction i.e. be upset or take a little longer to let it sink in. Does this make sense?

  • in reply to Iain
    Iain said:
    If you are neurodivergent then there are no clear signs to you that you are different

    There are very clear signs actually with a few of the conditions which come under the neurodivergent umbrella eg. Tourettes.

    Also, many autistic people are very clearly autistic ie not those people with what is nowadays sometimes termed 'high functioning' autism but all the rest.

  • How do you know what other people think or feel? When they see red what do they see, when they feel pain what do they really feel, when they feel love what is it like? You can't know. So if you think differently how do you know?

    If you do something obvious, both you and others can see it. Stimming, frequent shutdowns, then you know.

    But if is subtle and you adapted since before 5 to fit in, how would you know this is not normal?

    Until you burnout of have some other problem it is hard. Communication differences look like quirky behaviour. There is normal variation.

    If you camouflage well you mostly fit in, what is there to say there's a problem. If nobody says anything why would you think there was. So you don't have many friends, that is not proof.

    You also only know your life, so you minimise your struggles, because they have always been there.

    Self awareness is hard, what advantage is there to thinking you're different when you have spent your life trying to fit in and learn all the rules.

    But when you do find out it can be uncomfortable.

  • AutisticBeaut2025 said:
    How come you get people who are aware that they are autistic and feel relieved when they finally get diagnosed then on the other end of the line you get people who are totally unaware that they are yet neurotypical people can see that they are but they can't?

    If you are neurodivergent then there are no clear signs to you that you are different, just a feeling that you are normal but just don't really understand all the rules, or you wonder why other people seem to cope so much better than you.

    It stems from a lack of awareness of autism so most older people don't realise how it presents itself and without this knowledge you won't connect the dots that "hey, that looks like me".

    Add in the spectrum nature of autism where no two autists have the same traits and it is a slippery fish to identify in yourself unless you look hard.

    Those who understand more about autism can see the traits in others - I do it all the time now and have let several people to have an assessment and discover they are autistic.

    How we respond to it will depend on how we deal with the unexpected coupled with any existing bias we may have towards mental health issues. Some with think "oh god, I'm one of them" and others will think "that explains a lot - good to know" and every shade in between.

    I think that is it in a nutshell.