Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anybody else feel completely ignored by their friends? I have certain friends that never reach out to me first, it will always be me who has to start the conversations. Whilst I do understand that the majority of people I speak to are neurotypical and have busy work lives I feel that if they truly wanted to be my friend they would try and connect? One friend in particular tends to very rarely post on social media or message people so I tend to try sending messages when they've recently posted things as I know they'll be on their phone, but it can go days or even weeks before I'll even get a response. It breaks my heart because it takes two minutes to check in with someone and say hi or to let them know you can't talk right now, and this friend is someone I have known for at least 8 years and they were my best friend in high school. Now I have an odd thing with relationships, I know I can be overwhelming and honestly I feel entitled to be responded to but I've worked on that and rarely message them anymore. I don't push people to respond to me but I really really struggle internally when they don't. I don't work myself due to extreme social phobia and mutism, so I think it's hard for me to understand their point of view about being busy. Do I give up on the friendship? Do I try and salvage it? I think it's worth noting that I have told them multiple times how I feel about them not responding and they've apologised and said they will try and be better with it but then there is just no change?
I'm dealing with that same situation right now. I used to spend so much time with my best friend. And now it can take days for her to respond to my messages. I try not to make a fuss about it because I don't want to alienate her, but I do miss the way things used to be.
The thing is, with people living full fledged lives like your friend, and people like you and I that don't work or have a lot of social contacts, time kind of moves differently. The autism plays into that too. I've watched people go through changes in their lives that feel like it's all happening so fast to me. While to them I look like I'm standing still. I try to focus on personal growth. At the very least, I don't want to run out of interesting things to talk about when I do get to spend time with someone.
I think that if you're feeling lonely, you could try to engage with places like here to see if you can meet more people. There's lots of us here looking to make new friends, if you're willing to put yourself out there and take a chance on us.
I'm sorry you're also in this situation but your perspective has definitely given me something to think about so thank you for that. I wouldn't know how to start making friends on here.. Maybe if I make a new post with my age and interests?