Published on 12, July, 2020
Anyone else have a sister that is a covert narcissist? My older sister(normal) has always verbally and emotionally abused me. She also ignores me all the time. Occasionally she will tell Hi when she comes to visit but most of the time she just acts like I don’t exist.
I’m moderately to severally autistic, and I’ve never been able to have her support as a caring sibling. She recently tried to have me committed into a mental hospital but that failed because I was cleared and declared mentally sane just very autistic and intellectualy disabled. It was also declared that I am NO threat to anyone or anything and am NOT DANGEROUS For any reason. They said I am a very joyful autistic who just really loves her animals and that I was a delight to talk to.
So, I don’t trust my sister anymore and can’t be around her. She told my mom that as long as I am around that she won’t come visit. It’s very sad and confusing because my meltdowns are never violent all I do is cry and talk loud. But according to my sister I’m very violent, unhappy and have the potential to murder….. like um what?!? Why would she make this all up?
anyway does anyone else have a normal sibling they never see or talk to anymore? Is it okay for me to never have a relationship with her?
I don’t know if I already sad this but, my sister broke my trust in her so much and broke the trust with my brother too because he knew about the “plan” my sister and her husband were planning to turn me in and try to get me locked up.
the trust is so broken that at the moment I don’t want to see her and the mental pain is causing me so much pain physically. But one thing I’m was trying to ask them is to take their kids home to nap if they want them to nap well; because even my mom is loud and the dogs. They live 5 minutes away and have their own homes. So I don’t think it’s really that much to ask. Is it?
Sorry to hear you are having a terrible time of it at the moment.
I can see that your sister and partner are worried at your violence during your meltdowns - the amount of energy that goes into this can make people think "if she is out of control she may hit my child" which will create a natural defence urge in any parent.
While there is a grain of truth in this arguement it also shows a terrible lack of understanding and empathy from them.
rosie&olive said:my sister broke my trust in her so much and broke the trust with my brother too because he knew about the “plan” my sister and her husband were planning to turn me in and try to get me locked up.
For them to have you locked up they will have to provide evidence I believe - all they have is "hearsay" although what you told your therapist can also be used if it makes you a danger to others or yourself.
I suspect in this situation, your self beating is the thing they are basing their plans on - ie you are a danger to yourself.
Have you tried other means of stimming when in this state? It can be really hard to do I know but maybe having some fabric to tear, a ball to squeeze or similar may help.
From what you describe it is a near impossible situation you are in to achieve what you want. Is seems clear your sister and partner are trying to get you removed from their family home, possibly for your own good but I imagine they are also after a safe spece for their child to be with its grandparents / free babysitters and to reduce the load on your parents with you out of the picture.
Seen from their perspective they probably think they are doing the right thing but they are failing to take into account your needs.
rosie&olive said:Their nap times fall exactly at times when I have to do something noisy like a workout or blend my dogs vegetables for her dinner.
Why do you have to do this at those specific times? Can you not do it earlier or later? Seen from a "normal" persons point of view it comes across as you doing it deliberately.
rosie&olive said:It’s been weeks since they have come around because they don’t like the “rules”. I’m confused and don’t understand all this and just really don’t want a relationship with them.
If your parents are setting house rules then this is to protect you and if they refuse to accept these then the best thing is for them to stay away honestly. This sounds like a good thing.
Do you have a therapist now? If you are still using the same one that allowed you to be committed then I would ask to change as you have lost trust in them and start afresh with a new therapist.
Talk to them about your concerns and issues then work through techniques to try to manage your meltdowns to a less threatening way.
You can't change your sistet but you can change yourself. Try to get the therapist to help you see yourself through their eyes an decide if anything you do is worth changing to cause less of a problem. You may choose not to but at least you will know what you are doing and can choose when and where to do it.
That would be my approach.
I am not violent in meltdowns ever. Just talk loud. And it was MY SISTERS THERAPIST, not mine who did the report.
I WAS CLEARED AND ITS BEEN DELCARED I AM NO DANGER TO ANYONE OR ANYTHING.
MY SISTER DOES NOT LIVE HERE!!
they have a house of their own.
AND BEING THAT I AM AUTISTIC I CANNOT CHANGE MY SCHEDULE ROUTINES!! Those were set in for years prior to the babies being born.
Talking to my sister is near impossible. My mom calls her a covert narcissist and my sister twists every word I say.