Published on 12, July, 2020
I speak a lot to people online (I'm much more comfortable with this than in person) but sometimes on random days i will just get so internally angry while they are speaking, usually it's while I'm doing something like just recently playing a game while chatting with a friend. I was fine while we were playing together but when we started playing separate games and he kept talking I just wanted to tell him to be quiet and in the back of my head I feel bad because I care about our conversations but sometimes I just need silence. I feel like i get annoyed too easily but this has happened with two of my friends now and I dont know if it's just me, if I'm just a bad person.
Recently I've also been on some new medication and one of its side effects is that it makes me super tired, I dont know if that contributes to it any but it has been worse since I've been on this medication. I just dont want to change how I've been doing stuff because I've been so tired, I literally slept the whole of yesterday away because of it and I hate it.
defo go out and stim I am going to start again I have masked too much lately
I get like that too sometimes, and even to the people I care about, like my partner and my sister. If they're rambling and distracting me, I'll feel irritated, but I've also been on the side who was rambling a lot to them and distracting them as well without noticing. They get it though.
You just have to say that you got to go, or that you just need some time to relax quietly for a bit, and they'll understand.
I call is white noise I get it when I am in a Cafe and want to read my book .I seem to find some where where they have a voice you cannot tune out.You may be like me and noise sensitive
I often find anger is my default feeling but it's often something that's just annoying or maybe upsetting or distracting that triggers it. Probably emotional regulation not working as it should. Don't feel bad , if you feel something and feel it's the wrong emotion, that's all it probably is.
I feel sometimes my subconscious reacts to a situation and hands off that to my conscious brain which has to figure it out and sometimes gets it wrong.
Hmm I get that, yeah sometimes I also get irritated because someone is talking when I don’t want and the worst thing is that I also don’t recognize in the real time, why I’m irritated. Or I merely recognize that I’m irritated. Then the other person asks me why you are so angry and then I start processing. But once I’m done I communicate clearly but politely
I get that, just wondering if its normal to feel so angry about it in the moment I suppose. I never usually say anything I just ignore it and keep talking, it just still makes me feel guilty.
PurpleMouse~ said:I'm having a follow up about the medication next week to see if it helped or not so I'll probably talk to my doctor about the tiredness then but I'm not sure there is much that can be done about it if the medicine is shown to have
That's a really good idea to mention about the tiredness.
I think it’s normal. It’s nothing bad to not want to speak at the moment. I don’t know how you tell that to other people, but maybe instead of saying something like “stop talking” or worse “shut up” (if this is the case) you can just say that you are not in a mood to talk and let’s talk some other time. Clear communication is important and I find it normal even for NTs to not want to talk at the moment.
We were originally playing a game called dead by daylight but I told him I was too tired to continue and switched to Minecraft to relax a bit more but we stayed in a call together I felt bad saying I needed some time to myself.
The medication period ends tomorrow anyway but this past week has been exhausting for me because of it, I dont know if it's why I might've been so much more moody than usual though. I'm having a follow up about the medication next week to see if it helped or not so I'll probably talk to my doctor about the tiredness then but I'm not sure there is much that can be done about it if the medicine is shown to have helped.