Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
Strange title, I know, especially given where I have chosen to publish this. But does anybody else feel the same? It may be that my late diagnosis contributes to how I am feeling or that I have only had my diagnosis for seven years. Still, I constantly have the feeling reinforced by my interactions with the "support structure" that runs parallel to the neurodiverse community.
I suppose I suffered from a certain amount of naivety as I trudged along the diagnostic path. I often considered what life would entail (It is nothing like I thought it would be) from a post-neurotypical perspective. Would I become a maestro on the piano? Would I develop savant-level maths skills? I kid, obviously, but it highlights a significant point as to how Autism and ADHD are perceived in broader society and how there is far more grandstanding than tangible services and support; indeed, knowledgeable services anyhow. It baffles me how influential neurotypical people are within the system. Not that I am suggesting it is wrong, as such, as I find it odd, there is a particular paradox to it, if you will.
Don't get me wrong, I am fortunate in certain aspects, primarily economically; I don't have to worry about housing, bills, etc. However, there is a certain finality in receiving the benefits. It is like giving children treats as a trade-off for some peace. It never occurred to me that retirement would come so soon. As I previously said, I had a late diagnosis and worked for two decades prior. If I am honest, it was never really successfully, often obsessively and massively aided by the industry I was in (Gordon Ramsey, anyone?). For two-thirds of that time, I was the boss, so I was perhaps lucky not to have gone through some of the challenges faced by the small number of neurodiverse individuals in the workplace; I was miserable, and it was accepted.
So yeah, there is some context and justification for my opinion. I'm tired of going to see 'specialists' who know less about the subject than I do, tired of treading water in life and close to breaking point on hearing the endless parade of businesses who are "embracing equality, diversity, and inclusivity" in the media (an obvious marketing ploy) yet couldn't identify the basics. How do others feel? Am I alone in feeling like this? It occurs to me that the solution often is worse than the cure or doing nothing at all in some cases. I want to contribute, I want to be busy, and I want to use all the skills and strategies that I have been taught to combat the negativity of neurodiverse behaviours. Yet every avenue I've explored is a dead-end or comes with normative restrictions that mock the rehabilitation process (if that is the correct word).
As the saying goes, "No (insert relevant) is an island", so I open the floor to your feedback and thank everybody for taking the time in advance.
I can understand why it bores and irritates you, but I'm equally frustrated by the lack of support I was offered and how hard I had try to get any at all and then find that all they were really interested in was making sure I had the right benefits. They kept telling me to tell them what I wanted from them, so I told them a couple of things and they said they couldn't do anything about them. Whats the point?
Mmmmmmmmm, yes. Your experiences sound very familiar to a large proportion of the neurodiverse community, certainly the people I have spoken with. There is a terrific charity local to me, established by family members on behalf of one of their siblings offering a range of services and a gathering place for people on the spectrum. They have struggled almost continually with funding, politics, and general indifference. As I said above, the system needs changing. Yet, its difficult to know where to start. And if I am honest, I don't think we help ourselves as a community as much as we probably could.