Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
Strange title, I know, especially given where I have chosen to publish this. But does anybody else feel the same? It may be that my late diagnosis contributes to how I am feeling or that I have only had my diagnosis for seven years. Still, I constantly have the feeling reinforced by my interactions with the "support structure" that runs parallel to the neurodiverse community.
I suppose I suffered from a certain amount of naivety as I trudged along the diagnostic path. I often considered what life would entail (It is nothing like I thought it would be) from a post-neurotypical perspective. Would I become a maestro on the piano? Would I develop savant-level maths skills? I kid, obviously, but it highlights a significant point as to how Autism and ADHD are perceived in broader society and how there is far more grandstanding than tangible services and support; indeed, knowledgeable services anyhow. It baffles me how influential neurotypical people are within the system. Not that I am suggesting it is wrong, as such, as I find it odd, there is a particular paradox to it, if you will.
Don't get me wrong, I am fortunate in certain aspects, primarily economically; I don't have to worry about housing, bills, etc. However, there is a certain finality in receiving the benefits. It is like giving children treats as a trade-off for some peace. It never occurred to me that retirement would come so soon. As I previously said, I had a late diagnosis and worked for two decades prior. If I am honest, it was never really successfully, often obsessively and massively aided by the industry I was in (Gordon Ramsey, anyone?). For two-thirds of that time, I was the boss, so I was perhaps lucky not to have gone through some of the challenges faced by the small number of neurodiverse individuals in the workplace; I was miserable, and it was accepted.
So yeah, there is some context and justification for my opinion. I'm tired of going to see 'specialists' who know less about the subject than I do, tired of treading water in life and close to breaking point on hearing the endless parade of businesses who are "embracing equality, diversity, and inclusivity" in the media (an obvious marketing ploy) yet couldn't identify the basics. How do others feel? Am I alone in feeling like this? It occurs to me that the solution often is worse than the cure or doing nothing at all in some cases. I want to contribute, I want to be busy, and I want to use all the skills and strategies that I have been taught to combat the negativity of neurodiverse behaviours. Yet every avenue I've explored is a dead-end or comes with normative restrictions that mock the rehabilitation process (if that is the correct word).
As the saying goes, "No (insert relevant) is an island", so I open the floor to your feedback and thank everybody for taking the time in advance.
I absolutely understand....on one attitude you have people expected you to be Einstein and 9thers treat or expect you're stupid..I say this as have experienced this type of attitude of people toward my son who was diagnosed back in 2018. Also he is very limited in his life it is debilitating and ye does get benefits as you say and right he does as it does give some dignity at least you know if he was in another country it's likely we'd be sitting in cardboard boxs in the tube station. Anyhow yes trouble is it is like giv8ng sweets...because they give the money but there is no further help that's actually needed because this world was built to function for neuro typical people so neuro divergent peeps end up marginalised pushed to the side and frankly just treated like waste as their skills and talents are wasted...I don't see any change in this happening soon either. It's been that way for a long time ...the world runs on the dollar ...some countries (though sadly not the main ones like uk and america) actually support their crafts people and artists etc ...but in uk America it's just a case of oh well you don't fit into the mould we have and even if you have a lot to give thus world we don't care your just on scrap heap your not valued...which as you know does no good for a healthy mindset..its like you retired like a 75 Yr old when your only 20 etc etc....what can I say don't look to me for a positive spin as there ain't one...you just have to iron we try to just get through one day to the next...