17 year old getting worse

She might not be Autistic, they are getting these things wrong. Thus the DSM keeps changing, many who are Autistic aren't diagnosed and it's hard pressed to find better understanding of what key fundamental divergences are. The information is out there, but getting researchers across countries and cultures to see how these work together - when pattern thinking isn't your specialty... it appears we need more Autistic researchers!

If your daughter is able to read her peers, and doesn't find social-linguistics difficult, she might not be Autistic. The link between Au and ADHD is found in the biological difference with these 3 internal functions: Inhibition (gut-brain axis), Filtering (salience network) and Brain Signalling. Similarities will then surface as 'behaviours' in things like: 1. executive function difficulty, 2. a sense of timelessness rather than linear time (making it difficult to plan), 3. difficulty with emotional regulation and 4. feeling everything internal and external with a far greater intensity than peers due to less ability to filter incoming signals. Both can appear to also mature slower. The Autistic difference is often particular to a difficulty with social nuances and linguistics. Many ADHD tend to have EDS and a positive calming chemical response to things which act like speed (caffeine, Ritalin, etc.). ADHD will have greater Anxiety by default in that they can sense-perceive social pressures along with being a mismatch for modern society yet have SO much untapped potential. A ton of medical papers are finding both have biological anxiety from less GABA, which I've been taking a nootropics blend (with Reishi and Lion's Mane) for nearly 30 years to personally help. 

So to start, she might be responding appropriately to how she is being intensely impacted. However, being autistic I've had to learn to remove myself from situations which are harmful or cause intense frustration or feel like assault - and are sensory assault. While torture is illegal for prisoners, many of us are exposed to dangerous levels of volatile compounds, noise and light levels which should be illegal.  Misophonia is hard, it pathologies a person when there are real things in the world which are causing deafness at an alarming rate, and rude, selfish individuals at large. Why should I be pathologised when a male gets on a quiet bus and has an alarmingly loud conversation on his phone in any language? Or just opens a pack of crisps in a library in the research section. I don't think I'm the problem, here. And some men weren't ever told no or shown how to behave in public. However, I would advise downloading a Decibel Reader to your phone. It's important if there are sounds she's having trouble with at frequencies which you may have lost hearing to (this happens to most adults).

As a parent, I did insist my son get through school, so I understand. Steadfastness is a good principle. But he's always felt it was a waste. He wasn't ready and the course was completely wrong. There were some things he got out of it, but it would've been better for him to have had the help needed and not finish near the bottom of his class. I do feel for students these days. All the good professors are stepping back from teaching as the system continues to sound like 1984.

It's important to note that Divergent kids grow different. I have tried to help my son focus more on becoming a person with integrity and ethics first. He can get a drivers license later. Internal growth saves breaking down. Learning to identify sensory difficulty and trouble shoot impact it saves a great deal. If I were to design schools for these kids, they would spend far more time learning life-lessons and practical skills. Philosophy and Physics, literature and crafting. Self-directed learning, sport and a little bit of Symbolic Logic.

I'm not sure I know many autistic / ADHD young adults who have a plan beyond getting through the day. Learning to envision long-term and short term tasks is something everyone needs to learn. But with ADHD, finishing tasks can be near impossible. In fact, I find that with my ADHD friends, they can start a million ideas and I can finish them. The ADHD - Au pairing can bring about great success. I can't sleep with a lack of resolve and don't always have the multitude of ideas they may have. Perhaps she needs a dyslexic or autistic friend who's a serious task finisher.

But what is the MOST important thing here is not to add overwhelming mountains of looming life things or we can get stuck in Survival Mode. I might suggest you have her write down 10 easily accomplishable things within this year and 10 things she'd like to accomplish over the next 10 years. Then pop it into an envelope and don't open it for 10 years. This may take a few weeks to write, but it will help her begin to dream beyond her situation and perhaps give her something to eventually work toward. In order to dream we need to be able to breathe and our society can make that near impossible at this point in history.  It's ok to not know what to do and to let our kids just be messy. They'll someday thank us for not abandoning them at their worst. x

She might not be Autistic, they are getting these things wrong. Thus the DSM keeps changing, many who are Autistic aren't diagnosed and it's hard pressed to find better understanding of what key fundamental divergences are. The information is out there, but getting researchers across countries and cultures to see how these work together - when pattern thinking isn't your specialty... it appears we need more Autistic researchers!

If your daughter is able to read her peers, and doesn't find social-linguistics difficult, she might not be Autistic. The link between Au and ADHD is found in the biological difference with these 3 internal functions: Inhibition (gut-brain axis), Filtering (salience network) and Brain Signalling. Similarities will then surface as 'behaviours' in things like: 1. executive function difficulty, 2. a sense of timelessness rather than linear time (making it difficult to plan), 3. difficulty with emotional regulation and 4. feeling everything internal and external with a far greater intensity than peers due to less ability to filter incoming signals. Both can appear to also mature slower. The Autistic difference is often particular to a difficulty with social nuances and linguistics. Many ADHD tend to have EDS and a positive calming chemical response to things which act like speed (caffeine, Ritalin, etc.). ADHD will have greater Anxiety by default in that they can sense-perceive social pressures along with being a mismatch for modern society yet have SO much untapped potential. A ton of medical papers are finding both have biological anxiety from less GABA, which I've been taking a nootropics blend (with Reishi and Lion's Mane) for nearly 30 years to personally help. 

So to start, she might be responding appropriately to how she is being intensely impacted. However, being autistic I've had to learn to remove myself from situations which are harmful or cause intense frustration or feel like assault - and are sensory assault. While torture is illegal for prisoners, many of us are exposed to dangerous levels of volatile compounds, noise and light levels which should be illegal.  Misophonia is hard, it pathologies a person when there are real things in the world which are causing deafness at an alarming rate, and rude, selfish individuals at large. Why should I be pathologised when a male gets on a quiet bus and has an alarmingly loud conversation on his phone in any language? Or just opens a pack of crisps in a library in the research section. I don't think I'm the problem, here. And some men weren't ever told no or shown how to behave in public. However, I would advise downloading a Decibel Reader to your phone. It's important if there are sounds she's having trouble with at frequencies which you may have lost hearing to (this happens to most adults).

As a parent, I did insist my son get through school, so I understand. Steadfastness is a good principle. But he's always felt it was a waste. He wasn't ready and the course was completely wrong. There were some things he got out of it, but it would've been better for him to have had the help needed and not finish near the bottom of his class. I do feel for students these days. All the good professors are stepping back from teaching as the system continues to sound like 1984.

It's important to note that Divergent kids grow different. I have tried to help my son focus more on becoming a person with integrity and ethics first. He can get a drivers license later. Internal growth saves breaking down. Learning to identify sensory difficulty and trouble shoot impact it saves a great deal. If I were to design schools for these kids, they would spend far more time learning life-lessons and practical skills. Philosophy and Physics, literature and crafting. Self-directed learning, sport and a little bit of Symbolic Logic.

I'm not sure I know many autistic / ADHD young adults who have a plan beyond getting through the day. Learning to envision long-term and short term tasks is something everyone needs to learn. But with ADHD, finishing tasks can be near impossible. In fact, I find that with my ADHD friends, they can start a million ideas and I can finish them. The ADHD - Au pairing can bring about great success. I can't sleep with a lack of resolve and don't always have the multitude of ideas they may have. Perhaps she needs a dyslexic or autistic friend who's a serious task finisher.

But what is the MOST important thing here is not to add overwhelming mountains of looming life things or we can get stuck in Survival Mode. I might suggest you have her write down 10 easily accomplishable things within this year and 10 things she'd like to accomplish over the next 10 years. Then pop it into an envelope and don't open it for 10 years. This may take a few weeks to write, but it will help her begin to dream beyond her situation and perhaps give her something to eventually work toward. In order to dream we need to be able to breathe and our society can make that near impossible at this point in history.  It's ok to not know what to do and to let our kids just be messy. They'll someday thank us for not abandoning them at their worst. x