school and japanese

i HATE school. it sucks, i have breakdowns, and my mom who works here is tired of me. but the catch is, I cant do homeschool because my mom is single so she has to work at this job, my grandpa is on his deathbed so my grandma who lives with us is constantly at doctors visits with him, and we barely have enough money to afford a private school or private homeschool for more than a year. I'm stuck in hell, and there seems like there isn't any hope.

Im not saying I'm planning to hurt myself with that last bit, its just I feel trapped. burnout. motivation is gone.

someone help.

section 2:

i am learning Japanese right now because I'm going to be going to a college in japan soon and my family is moving there so I will translate as they learn

but.. i cant focus or memorize ANYTHING. not the alphabet, not grammar rules, nothing. if any autistic folks who speak or learned/ are learning Japanese with some fluency could share some sources and tips in the replies that would be great.

anyway that's all.

thank you for reading! (also, I live in the US right now, so I cant do anything located in the UK)

also this is a repost because I don't think I posted the first one into the right forum category