Published on 12, July, 2020
I found school a traumatising experience and I still don’t think I’m completely recovered yet. I don’t know what the worst part was – the noise, bullying, lack of understanding from horrible teachers, the difficulty in fitting in, trouble finding classes because the school was split up into buildings so you had maths in building A and then science in building D. I never did get used to that.
I did enjoy the learning though. I still like to learn now but prefer doing it from home watching videos on YT and reading books on how to do this and that. It’s how I learnt to play the guitar and how I learnt to make my own bird box for the birds in my garden. I think all children should get to learn from home because it would make schooling a lot more fun, if you don’t mind being on your own.
My favourite time was the holidays. I could stay home and shut myself in my room without fear of having to go to school and face all the dread and horrors. Back then I never wanted summer to end!
At school I did attempt to make friends but I got bullied and gave up in the end. I did make one friend though, another girl who was also bullied. We bonded over the fact we were targeted by the bullies. It was a friendship that lasted though. The only good thing to come out of me going to school.
In general I did not enjoy school. From start to finish it was absolute hell. My worst memory of it was my maths teacher, a woman who knew I had anxiety and hated having to talk and she always made me stand up and answer questions when she knew I couldn’t answer it correctly.
Luckily that is all over now. I would never go back and anyone who has to go to school has my sympathies.
Terrible! (1970s) I excelled academically but could not handle the lights, noise, people, sitting in desks & not being outside, hallway walking in a line, lunchroom, expectations, and shunning of creativity, etc. I'd hide in the morning so I wouldn't have to go. I was sick or became sick often. My dad was principal, so that didn't go over well.
I suffered every day from K-5. If I stayed home/refused to go, my mother told me that I could not leave my room that day. No problem for me. That was a bad move on her part because it reinforced my building a cocoon to deal with things, and I became even less interested in venturing out.
In 5th grade they allowed me to go to school for fewer days & the days were shortened; I completed my work from home and excelled further academically. But there was no real system or supports for people like me and it was seen as an emergency effort for this freak of a kid. There was no diagnosis (because they didn't know about these things yet) and I just continued to suffer.
I sometimes think about how my life could've been if back then people knew about kids like me and how to help them thrive.
The rest of my school "career" was just as difficult.
But the thing is that I LOVE learning and teaching. So I did get a teaching degree thinking I could use it somehow...but schools are still not made for people like me even as an adult teacher. So I didn't last long and am now self employed in a very quiet life (making very little money but at least I'm not suffering every day).
If I could teach in a school setting that had maybe 5 kids at a time at most, low lighting, lots of outside time, in a quiet, slow moving creative setting, I'd love it. But that doesn't exist where I live. And I don't have the personality to start a school like that.
I've considered (briefly) getting a special ed endorsement for teaching mainly autistic students, but special ed classrooms in those settings are still not how they should be. It's still glorified babysitting in a noisy, scary environment where teachers are routinely physically assaulted by their students (with a terrible student-to-teacher ratio), especially by special ed students who are overwhelmed.
In an alternate universe, I operate a "school" where our main classroom is the outdoors...all of our math, language skills, science, etc content revolves around the natural world. We are not trapped by a 6 hour day M-F. We do some things individually, some as a very, very small group, and most of the rest at home. We create stories, plays, gardens, podcasts, books (including nonfiction), and whatever else, individually, in partners, or small groups--whatever they want.
But legislation regarding classroom hours and content areas does not allow for that. And you can't be hired to do that by homeschool families. All homeschooling must be done by a parent (in my country). It's so sad.
Thanks for the great discussion and for reading this. I wish everyone well.