Published on 12, July, 2020
I found school a traumatising experience and I still don’t think I’m completely recovered yet. I don’t know what the worst part was – the noise, bullying, lack of understanding from horrible teachers, the difficulty in fitting in, trouble finding classes because the school was split up into buildings so you had maths in building A and then science in building D. I never did get used to that.
I did enjoy the learning though. I still like to learn now but prefer doing it from home watching videos on YT and reading books on how to do this and that. It’s how I learnt to play the guitar and how I learnt to make my own bird box for the birds in my garden. I think all children should get to learn from home because it would make schooling a lot more fun, if you don’t mind being on your own.
My favourite time was the holidays. I could stay home and shut myself in my room without fear of having to go to school and face all the dread and horrors. Back then I never wanted summer to end!
At school I did attempt to make friends but I got bullied and gave up in the end. I did make one friend though, another girl who was also bullied. We bonded over the fact we were targeted by the bullies. It was a friendship that lasted though. The only good thing to come out of me going to school.
In general I did not enjoy school. From start to finish it was absolute hell. My worst memory of it was my maths teacher, a woman who knew I had anxiety and hated having to talk and she always made me stand up and answer questions when she knew I couldn’t answer it correctly.
Luckily that is all over now. I would never go back and anyone who has to go to school has my sympathies.
I'm sorry your time at school wasn't the best.
My time at school was actually okay.
Looking back I was masking pretty much 24/7.
I put in so much effort to fit in and be like the other girls.
I laughed when they did. I wore makeup. I was probs super annoying and bratty at times - way out of character for me not my comfort zone but the alternative would be being unpopular and bullied
I couldn't take that so I masked and carried this other me who was an illusion through school.
Towards the end of school I started to crack mentally.
Now I know what masking is and the effects it causes (thanks number and autonomistic) I'm sure that's what caused my breakdown.
Really I should have been true to myself but I didn't and in the long run it cost me big time.
Teachers were mostly ok. You get the odd one right but most were all right with me.
Towards the end of school I started to struggle with the work and exams. I wasn't bullied thank god though.
One of my biggest fears is being bullied.