Published on 12, July, 2020
Have you changed much? Not just in appearence but your personality at well, food preferences?
I haven't changed much. Lol. I'm still little, still childish, still spooked by adults and strangers. I still like toys. I look youthful, like I'm in my early teens still. Food wise I'm still like a kid I like all the sweet stuff.
I'm in my twenties now but honestly I am still like I was when I was a kid just I don't go to school now.
Well, I'm 61, so a massive gap since childhood compared to you.
However, I am still on the outside looking in, as I was then.
I still prefer my own company to that of others but if I do have friends, it's one or two, as it was then.
I still blush, even now, which annoys and and amazes me.
I still find insects as fascinating now as I did when I was I was small and therefore my eyes were closer physically to them.
Happiest in a quiet space with a book, as I was then, but now I actually have those spaces available.
Still very fussy with food but whereas then I would occasionally eat meat, the occasions nowadays are many months apart, and consist only of free range beef minced and free range bacon frazzled, usually eaten to please another cook.
My main foodstuffs are unfortunately beige carbs, as was the case then.
What I'd liked to have retained but couldn't once middle age set in, is my thinness.
Nice thread idea.
Thank you.
It's funny, I always thought of it the other way around, always on the inside (of myself) looking outward, like a human shaped observatory I mostly watched other kids and adults and the social interactions they have, only sometimes interacting but even then never truly connecting even when I thought I'd taken such brilliant notes and mimiced the facial expressions and body language I needed to express myself, it's led to a very extensive script but it is still a script. And I don't think it is perfect it is still a roll of the dice who my interactions succeed with, and who it doesn't, sometimes if it goes really badly I end up with people just hating me, and I suspect that they cannot truly put their finger on why, because they have never heard of the uncanny valley effect. And maybe if I they knew i was autisic maybe it would help, or maybe it wouldn't but I'm not likely to find out as it isn't something I usually lead with in a conversation.I know that socially puts me on teh outside, but in terms of how it feels, it feels like I'm trapped inside myself.(just adding it below for thse that don't know and are interested)https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley
π Bees π (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs said:but in terms of how it feels, it feels like I'm trapped inside myself.
That's a really interesting angle.
I guess I'm lucky I like my own company for the most part (when the OCD is quiet) otherwise my childhood and teen years would have felt a lot more oestrasised than they already were.But not needing friends isn't the same as not wanting friends ofc. Because I do want to be social, I'm just really bad at it and it drains me to mask.