12 years old boy autism

Note- that 'intense interest' is driven by Monotorpism (a 3rd major fundamental value which marks the autistic difference) and this Salience Network: we aren't just deeply impacted, but intensely impacted. A thing can be consuming. There aren't just 5 senses but 40 basic ones and then hundreds within the human body. There is no difference between a strong smell and a strong feeling, these are both subject to Sensory-Perception. 

So, with an interest which can become a specialisation and can lead to a well paid career, it's important to learn how to delegate time to be consumed with that if possible. Never deny it, but create space to be in it. I have a pile of books I will work though. I initially gave myself 5 years to get through 2 of the main books by these historical giants. After 5 I added another 5 and then realised this will be a life-long project I will specialise in. The principle I use is called "acting like an ant" - carrying one small stone a day to build a whole nest. This can be helpful as I know the project is next to me, while my sound-related job is also all-consuming. Sometimes just reinforcing working through a paragraph a day, for instance, can help create a sense of ease. The brain is working at a speed beyond which our maturity or human-ness can keep up. It requires exhausting like a sheep dog or it will accelerate into anxiety.

Aww bless. He sounds 100% autistic. And lovely! 

Over sharing (or info-dumping) is how we connect and are vulnerable with others. It is like a very long hug. It is an expression of sharing our deep excitement and joy and awe. We don't share with those we don't trust (not necessarily bad, but trust is earned, respect is given).

Being 'wise for one's age' is a classic marker of the Autistic Neural-wiring. We are known as Lateral Thinkers, we can see systems and symptoms and fundamental values of things effortlessly. But the irony - the catch - is that we often cannot use vocabulary, linguistics or even language the same as our Non-Autistic peers. So, just like stumbling through a foreign language and being discredited simply for how poorly one speaks, we can be misheard, misjudged. But often we didn't get the memo on how to mature either. One thought behind this is a brain with less synaptic pruning. Not wrong, just different. Instead of super-pruning those hyper-connexions in the areas responsible for language and semiotics, the Autistic brain is structured different, one that most Autistics can tap into if they micro-dose on psilocybin, for example, which opens up the capacity to see the world as 'Too Real', which is another theory that our Salience Network works different, and doesn't filter out the same. This would've been incredibly useful in the wild.

ADHD and Autistics (along with dyslexics) are often a mismatch for the expectations of modern society where the Neurotypical brain can dull the senses or become desensitised. Both Freud and Lacan suggested the autistic wasn't creating Defence mechanisms which allowed them to do just this - dull their senses. Jung noticed the same, but specifically the issue with Sublimation and only for particular Introverted Types. Jung basically was noticing the "high functioning autistic" without the label. And probably because he may have been a BAP (borderline Autistic Phenotype) himself. He treats Trauma never Autistic Traits easily recognisable in his patients just by a peel through Volume 1 of his extensive collexion. 

The main issue with having to teach him everything (and well done noticing and not leaving him to 'figure it out') is a matter of a Loss in Translation. Autistics aren't receiving seemingly secret social codes due to a different salience network being overwhelming, due to not having these hyper connexions which keep a 'tribe' together. This mismatch is more pronounced today than in 1950 due to how society has changed and western thought is further homogenised by mass media. Many of us in the Music industry are Autistic or ADHD, most undiagnosed. 

Good morning

I also have a 12 year old son who is very intelligent. His reading age is 16+ and he is currently doing year 10 English work at school. He is also a quiet well behaved student but sadly struggles socially.

When he started secondary school he became an easy target for the bullies. The school did not respond well to this and placed the blame on him, saying it was banter and normal childish behaviour towards him and it was his perception of what was going on that was the problem. 

I do not work in education and placed my trust in them, I asked for help with this and they referred him to a friendship group at the school to learn how to be a friend.

His mental health continued to decline, as well as his school work. I started to research his 'behaviour' and found very quickly that he fitted with ASD. He struggled to ride a bike and swim, can fall of his chair just sitting still, has never made friends but always seemed happy in his own world and various other things that we always just put down to it being just him. I spoke to autism charities, got support from our council and started to realise that the school was very wrong with their approach towards him and his needs. The bullying escalated and he was attacked so I pulled him out. 

To cut a long story short before I pulled him out, I tried to get him on a list to be assessed. His school wouldn't add him to the list because they felt he showed no signs of autism. I went to the GP who said their hands were tied as it was the schools responsibility, but agreed that he could benefit from an assessment. We learnt that without the schools support we were going to struggle so we got him assessed privately. We still waited 2 months but he now has a diagnosis and is at a new school and although can not make friends he is able to be himself without the constant bullying. 

Sorry I can not offer any other advice than this, but wish you all the best

H