Published on 12, July, 2020
I have been thinking recently about masking and the various means that one uses to mask. It has occurred to me, that the use of a ‘passive voice’ in my communication, is a big part of the way I write and speak.
I can remember all the way back to college, that tutors used to comment on my ‘wordiness’, I well-achieved (D*D*D*) in College but kids always used to say “You’re not that smart are you? You just write a lot”. The implication being that I was obscuring my lack of understanding. The more I’ve written, the better I have gotten at writing, but I still write a lot. I find that every now and again I take on a new element of language, but I always write a lot and I never reread, I just speed-write to victory. In my speech I do talk a lot, talking about anything at length and for length, I enjoy getting my thoughts out and enjoy how language is constructed in my head. But I also speak longer words and phrases in a disagreeable situation, to offset any aggressive reaction to my imperative, I find that a great rhetorical-tool can be found in elongated words and phrases and sentences.
I have thought that: Maybe it is because I have enjoy vocabulary but not grammar, or maybe it is because I never formally-learned grammar at school, or maybe I abandoned the ‘active voice’ as a means of non-detection and non-confrontation. It may even have been, a kind-of speed writing that I developed, to safely expose myself to writing and speech.
It has not been the case, that all the individuals that I know (who have an Autism Spectrum Condition), have a circumlocutory communication style. I have known some ASC individuals, to be very literal and active in their communication, and no less intelligent.
So I guess I am just interested to know: How this style of communication sits-with and is experienced by the community? Why the community thinks it occurs? Is it born of the environment and exposure? Is it a repetitive action or an interest? Is it a means of evasion or development? Is it the result of the level of skill attainment?
I can spend entire days without saying a single word. When forced, I usually give one word answers or reply with just a glare and a grunt. Somebody once told me that she believed I was non verbal and severely mentally disabled, she was surprised when she knew that I was actually more intelligent and with more schooling than her.
Probably in my case it was due to being born in an abusive environment with a crazy father. I learned early that speaking was rewarded by beatings.
I get this.
For a long time I was a man of few words who preferred to speak softly and carry a big stick (verbally) but who was very good at their job (tech support).
I found social interactions with colleagues and customers difficult for many years despite being highly educated and fairly "worldly" experienced for my age. People would keep me at the periphery of conversations as I would give very blunt but often accurate responses to what they asked about, especially if it was something they had messed up.
Over the decades I took a lot more time to learn to be conversive, to mask effectively and could hold my own in social situations much better. This helped my career and I ended up travelling the world with my work so it paid off.
Now I'm returning to more brevity in my conversations, preferring to get to the point but include relevant context, platitudes when needed and social niceties when I can be bothered. I guess this is a common aspect of getting old.
On that note it is time for me to go to work