Autistic and Christian

Not sure. I haven't got a church right now, which is a very difficult situation as I do believe we ought to be part of a fellowship. But the one I was in, which was very small and like a close family, got taken over by people whose theology i could not agree with so we had to leave. Also, as part of that, they were not being careful with covid, and I am being very cautious because of my arthritis. We did go to another very small church in the summer of 2021 but that closed in the autumn for other reasons and since then we have just been doing online church. I want to find another small church, as those do seem more suitable.

I could not cope with a large noisy church. My husband used to go to one and I did increasingly find it difficult. The music was so loud I actually could not walk in there one time, it was like a wall of sound, almost like a physical barrier! I did get him to email them and they just said they had a quiet service but it was too early in the morning for my arthritis which takes a while to get going. I did feel it was wrong for them to have it so loud, it was probably damaging babies hearing! Also they displayed the words to the songs at the front but had lights right by the words which they would sometimes rotate into our eyes! Why?!!! Far too much like some kind of rock concert, which is not an environment I find appealing. If we had moved to his location rather than to mine we would not have been going to that church!

Since I only discovered my autism during lockdown I don't know how my old church would have handled it. I doubt it would have made any difference, I am still the same person and probably need more accommodations for my physical disability than for my autism per se (as it was never noisy). The people who took over would not have been understanding I am sure, and they had the little kids in the service playing, often noisily, which i do not find appropriate as they ought to be out the back learning in a way suitable for their age, not disrupting things for everyone else and the sermon going over their heads. Plus of course they did not accommodate my need for covid safety!

I do enjoy a Bible study. In fact for the last year or two I have been studying Biblical languages online via live video classes which has been so interesting and enjoyable, and have been doing Greek exegesis classes too which I love because it is so useful to go really deep into the word of God in such a nerdy, yet also spiritual way. And I listen to theology lecture videos and theology podcasts so that part of me is being fed. But I do need fellowship in person not just on video, and being able to take communion not just at home with the video.

I feel bad about it as it sometimes feels like am I not trusting God? But he might be protecting me by keeping me home for a time. I also worry about the effect on my husband. We can't live like this forever, although part of me does like being a hermit! And will I struggle going back? probably. But now i understand more about my autism that might help.

I'd like an online Bible study group.

I can identify with the thing about loud churches. Why do the PA systems always have to be turned up to full volume? I dont understand it. Also I hate words on the projecter, I like to have a nice little hymn book in front of me that I can read the words from, much less overwhelming. 

Before Covid we used to go to a very quiet little C of E church with only about 20 people and hymn books and an organ but then the vicar left and it was never the same without her cos she was lovely. Then we moved house and now we go to a more livley church. The people are amazing, some of the most loving, welcoming, down to earth people I have ever met. I even sat and had a chat and a coffee with the pastor and told him all about my autism. I could tell he didnt really understand it but he accepted it and tried to understand which matters to me. The only trouble is its a very loud church with a worship band, loud PA systems and projectors which I struggle with. Also they tend to sing modern songs and I like traditional hymns. I find if I wear little plastic earbuds it helps with the noise 

As an autistic church sound engineer I can assure you that the PA systems are not turned up to 11, sorry couldn't resist a spinal tap reference, it is more a case that a lot of us on the spectrum are more sensitive to sounds and how they physically affect us. Most church buildings do not actually lend themselves to good mixing and playing stuff loudly anyway as an aside.

I admire you for being able to work on a PA system, I couldnt deal with all that stuff. Yes I have these little plastic earbuds I wear which help in church but sometimes I do miss how quiet my old church was with just one organist and hymnbooks 

I admire you for being able to work on a PA system, I couldnt deal with all that stuff. Yes I have these little plastic earbuds I wear which help in church but sometimes I do miss how quiet my old church was with just one organist and hymnbooks