Emotional day

I found out that talking openly, including in public, about traumatic events helps,, you could say shifting the burden of it onto someone else.brings relief

This is uniquely autistic. We can let go with Resolution. Sometimes the resolve takes time. 

If an outcome doesn't match our internal vision it creates a lack of resolve. Sometimes it's just hard being in process especially if we can clearly see how a problem is solved.

Take note of a lack of contiguity / a lack of contiguity. Take note of roles and responsibilities. Some of us here have had difficult mothers, for instance. Mine would weaponise innate desires (to connect with a mother) against me to get what she wanted. The dynamic was confusing most of my life until I read a few books on learning boundaries and how to parent well and pitfalls and such. At some point I realised in horror what was happening. There was a disconnect between my natural desire and her failings for *whatever reason. The gap in this lack of congruity (unmet reasonable desire from someone who's responsibility it was to meet it) caused a Lack of Resolution and it weighed me down causing stress. 

In other situations I might have noticed my unreasonable expectations of someone who didn't have a role of responsibility like that in my life and I had to readjust my perception to match who they were in relation to me which changed if a resolve mattered. Or what a resolve would look like. 

You maybe know all of this if you're in social work. But everything is in Relation With. The ones which matter can weigh heavy on us if they're in disrepair. And sometimes create strain on ones which bear less weight. 

As I was learning to deal with some of these things, I didn't know about autistic wiring. Thankfully, I learned some of our natural wiring is quite valuable, but when undisciplined or unnoticed or not brought to maturity properly, some of it can really work against us.

*I'm using 'whatever reason' as a placeholder for paragraphs of trauma. It was a abusive, but she has never really gotten the help she's needed.

Hang in there. Bullies are cowards; underneath.

You are loved.

Hi sorry to hear that but I do feel similar. Firstly yes I absolutely struggled to let go, I’m like a dog with a bone. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s partly the issues of justice of my need for it to be wrapped up and ended and boxed off ? It’s strange I’m viewing things in a different light and it’s uncomfortable.

yesterday after receiving feedback which I must say was incredibly sensitive and kind, I felt extremely deflated and vulnerable and I was still tearful today. I do trust my boss and feel they’re genuine and want to support me and in some way protect me which is humbling for me. In fairness I work in social care so I’d like to think I’m in the right place.

I do feel I’m doubting and questioning myself, checking what I thinking , feeling and why almost like I don’t trust myself to make a mistake, which in itself is very painful for me to mess up.

Soopy05 said:

I have issues with justice and right and wrong

I do too... it has caused me problems all my life. Why are we made to feel as though this is a bad thing though? Shouldn't it be a good thing? It only creates a problem when other people don't care about what is right and wrong, and when they are indifferent to injustice. Do you feel as though you find it hard to "let go of an issue and move on" because you find it difficult to accept/ignore injustice?

Regarding feedback from others, yes I have had some, and found it has reduced my confidence (which I did not have much of to begin with) as I saw from an outside perspective how I might come across to others, how my ways of interacting with people might be unusual and how often I seem to "miss the point". I can't think of an example right at this moment, but it is only in recent years, since living with somebody for the first time, that I have had this type of feedback and it has made me more self conscious.

It is wonderful that the people at your work are being so supportive though.

Uff. Good. Because i have no solution. I had to quit.

Thank you I’m sorry to hear about your experience. I’m not the subject of being bullied I’m glad to say my issue is not being able to let go and move on 

Hi, I can imagine. it's not easy to open oneself to strangers

Soopy05 said:

I have issues with justice and right and wrong and it was pointed out that I struggle to let go of an issue

is it what they made you believe?

It strangely looks like a situation that was the reason why bullying started in my old job, it was before I was diagnosed autistic. 

I went to ask for help against manager, that was bullying me everyday from her first day in our store. to my store manager (btw. that store manager laughed in my face,''No, you're not'', when I told her,I'm on a waiting list a year earlier, why I did not see it as a warning sign?), Store manager instead stopping it organised a resolution meeting, where all 'accusations' were rejected as prepostrous and without proof (I did not know they're friends) and the case dismissed.

except it wasn't, because from then on I was bulllied by both of them, store manager kept on nagging that I admitt that the other one isn't doing anything bad. But I wasn't saying anything anymore, I kept my mouth shut. And I couldn't admit to it because it would be a lie. So the nagging conitnued, 15min daily at least for a month, until I had a meltdown. Meltdown that was interprettexd as 'being disrespectful' towards manager, and I had a disciplinary for that. Turned out area manager was on their side to, and during disciplinary they did not even ask me for my version of events, and they did not allow me to do it either.

So. is inability to agree to a lie, what they insist to be 'not letting go' in your case?