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Emotional day

Soopy05

I am going through pre assessment and now being referred to neuro diverse assessment team via my employers. After a very long time I raised my thoughts with my line manager in recent months and was met with a positive and supportive response. Today I’ve had a review meeting with my line manager and more senior person in the organisation to discuss what’s going on. Again I’ve had much positive feedback however it has been shared with me their observations of my approach to certain situations, which I found extremely painful to hear. From their perspective they feel it makes sense and more than happy to help and support me however in that moment it felt so painful to hear from someone else’s perspective. I have issues with justice and right and wrong and it was pointed out that I struggle to let go of an issue. I know they’re right but hurt so much to hear. I’m finding this process emotional, painful but also having so many penny drop moments. The process of discovery is amazing. I wondered if any other people had feedback from others and how they felt about that ? Thank you in advance 

Parents

  • Hi, I can imagine. it's not easy to open oneself to strangers

    Soopy05 said:
    I have issues with justice and right and wrong and it was pointed out that I struggle to let go of an issue

    is it what they made you believe?

    It strangely looks like a situation that was the reason why bullying started in my old job, it was before I was diagnosed autistic. 

    I went to ask for help against manager, that was bullying me everyday from her first day in our store. to my store manager (btw. that store manager laughed in my face,''No, you're not'', when I told her,I'm on a waiting list a year earlier, why I did not see it as a warning sign?), Store manager instead stopping it organised a resolution meeting, where all 'accusations' were rejected as prepostrous and without proof (I did not know they're friends) and the case dismissed.

    except it wasn't, because from then on I was bulllied by both of them, store manager kept on nagging that I admitt that the other one isn't doing anything bad. But I wasn't saying anything anymore, I kept my mouth shut. And I couldn't admit to it because it would be a lie. So the nagging conitnued, 15min daily at least for a month, until I had a meltdown. Meltdown that was interprettexd as 'being disrespectful' towards manager, and I had a disciplinary for that. Turned out area manager was on their side to, and during disciplinary they did not even ask me for my version of events, and they did not allow me to do it either.

    So. is inability to agree to a lie, what they insist to be 'not letting go' in your case?

Reply

  • Hi, I can imagine. it's not easy to open oneself to strangers

    Soopy05 said:
    I have issues with justice and right and wrong and it was pointed out that I struggle to let go of an issue

    is it what they made you believe?

    It strangely looks like a situation that was the reason why bullying started in my old job, it was before I was diagnosed autistic. 

    I went to ask for help against manager, that was bullying me everyday from her first day in our store. to my store manager (btw. that store manager laughed in my face,''No, you're not'', when I told her,I'm on a waiting list a year earlier, why I did not see it as a warning sign?), Store manager instead stopping it organised a resolution meeting, where all 'accusations' were rejected as prepostrous and without proof (I did not know they're friends) and the case dismissed.

    except it wasn't, because from then on I was bulllied by both of them, store manager kept on nagging that I admitt that the other one isn't doing anything bad. But I wasn't saying anything anymore, I kept my mouth shut. And I couldn't admit to it because it would be a lie. So the nagging conitnued, 15min daily at least for a month, until I had a meltdown. Meltdown that was interprettexd as 'being disrespectful' towards manager, and I had a disciplinary for that. Turned out area manager was on their side to, and during disciplinary they did not even ask me for my version of events, and they did not allow me to do it either.

    So. is inability to agree to a lie, what they insist to be 'not letting go' in your case?

Children