Moving away for college (NOT UNI)

Hey everyone.

I’m autistic and have mental health issues. I’m currently 22-years old, I’m turning 23 in June. I live in Essex. I want to go to college; however, I can’t go back to my local college because they won’t take me back due to the fact that I dropped out on 3 different occasions due to my bad mental health. I’m thinking of going to college (a different one), but here’s the thing. I want to do A-Levels. The closest college that does A-Levels for adults is over an hour away from me. I couldn’t travel there unless I moved there. That college is still in Essex but it’s just quite far away from where I live. Getting there everyday would be tiresome, so the easier option would be to move near the college.

So, I was thinking about just moving away to an entirely different county in England and just living there for a few years. The county I was thinking of was Hampshire. Hampshire have a few good colleges. I so badly want to do A-Levels because I am more than capable. I can’t do online A-Levels because the ones I want to do are practical ones like fine art, graphics and illustration and media studies. I got quite good GCSE results a few years ago. Here are my grades (from newest to oldest):

GCSE Japanese – A grade
IGCSE English – A* grade
GCSE Media Studies – C grade
GCSE Maths – C grade
GCSE Science – C grade
GCSE Citizenship – A grade
GCSE Catering – C grade

So those are my GCSE grades. I want to progress onto A-Levels this year, but here’s the catch: I have bad mental health and worry like mad. I’m currently under a secondary mental health team (they are not very good). If I moved away for 3-years, I would worry that my mum wouldn’t be safe or she’d think that I didn’t love her. I know these are silly thoughts, but what if they are true? I don’t have much family (well, I do, but I hardly see them) and I worry my mum would be lonely without me.

I also worry about my physical and mental health. I am worried if I get things like cancer or something else deadly! I'm a worrier. Plus, I'd have to lodge with someone. I would lodge with a family that maybe has a dog or young children (so I'd feel safer).

My sister says I should do what I want to do, but it’s difficult with my mental health at the moment. I think if I moved away, my mum would worry about my mental health and whether I was ok or not. I can’t keep stopping myself and holding myself back. I know not many people move away for college in the UK, but I want to do something different and get my A-Levels. I know A-Levels may not matter after university, but I really want to have a range of A-Levels and not just a diploma in art and design.

Does anyone have any sons or daughters that have moved away for college (not uni)? I know some colleges have residential.

Thank you.