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How can i help somebody who suffers with depression?

NAS77179

Hi

I have trouble with getting stressed out that their negative emotions aren’t something within my control whenever I try to problem-solve and meddle. My first instinct is always to try and fix whatever the source of their sadness is, and even when I listen I feel compelled to give solutions instead of comfort. Does anybody know some good strategies for avoiding doing this, and knowing what to say instead? I just want to help my partner, but the only way I’ve ever known how is obviously just making things worse.

Thanks in advance

  • Just listen and try to get them out doing things. It can also be helpful to offer to help them get their space together. Living in a dirty, disorganized space makes depression worse, and most people who are depressed don't have the energy or drive to do lots of cleaning and organizing. Moving the furniture around and decluttering in someone's apartment/room/house can sometimes produce positive change.

  • in reply to Blue
    Blue said:
    This is a joke do not duct tape a significant other to a wall

    Unless they're into that Stuck out tongue

  • Try saying ‘that must be terrible for you, how does it make you feel?’ And then don’t say anything else until they finish saying whatever. My wife taught me that one. She knows that I’m just saying what she’s taught me and can’t really vary it but she also knows that I’m showing I care by trying to comfort her on her own terms even if I don’t fully understand how. 

  • Your making the situation worse. Because your partner is getting further depressed for making you depressed. Please be cautious when he doesn't show it around you and starts hiding it from you, It's a red flag  when they stop showing it and it may be time to duct tape them to a wall. This is a joke do not duct tape a significant other to a wall but seriously when they hide it their plotting something terrible.

    You need to not force him to do something he enjoys but encourage them to do something that brings them some sort of joy and they should then be able to manage their emotions a little better and get themselves out of the depression themselves.

    constant worrying is also a cause of depression, try and eliminate the stress. If its money deal with it. the longer you leave leave it harder to get out the hole you've dug. 

    maybe they need medication or a change of medication or therapy. Have you thought about getting a cat, he'll pretend he does'nt love it and become attached. something unpredictable and distracting.   

  • Your partner you say? I don't think there is a simple 'thing' you can do for depression. It's complex and he / she needs to talk it out. What you can do is offer emotional support. That could just be listening if they need to talk. Finding something fun to distract them. It could be physical affection or even sex if they just need a feeling of closeness or being cared for. But thats a bit like bailing out a sinking ship. It won't stop him / her being depressed it'll just make their life more liveable.